Cityzen

8 Documentaries to spice up your Weekend. Thread 🧵 YOUTUBE 1. The Insane Wealth of Russian Oligarchs — Luxury Zone 2. Haiti's Bloody History — Criminals and Crime Fighters 3.The Fake Genius: A $30B Fraud—James Jani 4.The World Most Dangerous Arms dealer — DW Documentary

@jhonte_ @sasuke_aoi_ Kijana mjinga sana. He just watched, hata no effort 😂

Guehi's fat ass can't even track back he's so slow to run back😭😭

Mekatilili wa Ngamia, How do you even come up with such a name? @PiocheBrio What was going through your mind 😂😂

Monkey was like, "Do you really know me? 😂😂

@YaneKariuki @RealElvo Mbwaa

Ligi nayo huezi beba na kina Mamushka na Caster Semenya

@SirAlexas I have never rated him.

Soon we will have that Guehi conversation!!

Everton tulisema mtupanulie jameni 😂😂

Mahn I really miss KDB

@jhonte_ Cherki or Guehi?

what was cherki thinking with that back pass?

Breaking that dreadlock. !!

Guehi doesn't have legs

Will we break this Everton defence?

Sasa Wacha Pep aniharibie siku

Ndio maana hukutoka old money 😂😂

Do what bro, do what?

Walikuwa wanatrain how to celebrate when they score. 😂😂

@osumo_brad Nimetumwa na Mr Kalasinga sent to the floor.😂😂

Huyu jamaa tumejuana siku mingi mi hudhani anaitwa Brian Kalasinga kuna siku alinituma ofisi flani westie nikawaambia nimetumwa na Mr. Kalasinga😂 receptionist anashangaa huyo ni nani. Mpesa app ndio ilifanya nikajua unaitwa Brian Mbabu😂

😂😂

Eastleigh is not laughing with KRA. Over the weekend, I visited my woria friend in Eastleigh. He owed me camel meat. He told me: Okuyu, kuja nikupeleke bahali yake. He took me to a camel meat joint. He told me to order. I asked the waiter: mko na nini? He said: rafiki iko ngamia tatu. Ngamia imekaangwa, ngamia blain, na ngami... Before he finished, I asked: Hiyo blain iko na nini? He said: Imechemshwa na chumvi. I told him, niletee ngamia choma. Suddenly, every head turned to our table. My woria friend quickly took charge. Ordered 3 plates. 2 Blain and 1 imekaangwa. I have no clue how those chefs do it. But it was the sweetest and softest meat I have eaten this year. My friend, if you have never eaten camel in isirii, I don't even know why I am talking to you. • Lesson 1: Those chefs should be arrested. Unaweza malizia school fees ya watoto hapo. As we stood to leave, I see the one and only Eastleigh mall. Immediately I remember what they did to KRA. When the mall was constructed. It cost 96 million. They also said the name Eastleigh mall is a brand. They gave it a brand value of 10% of the building cost. And called it goodwill. A whopping 9 million shillings. Total cost = 104 million. That is what they reported to KRA in their 2008 tax return. They then divided this cost over 13 years. The period to fully deduct building costs from tax. 8M per year. All legal. From 2008 to 2017, Eastleigh mall and KRA are good buddies. They even say cheers while taking coffee together. Then one morning in 2017, KRA arrives at Times Tower and finds a letter from Eastleigh Mall. It reads: • Hello KRA. You see that 104M we told you. We made a mistake. It's actually 200 million. We now have a fresh valuation report. We want to amend our returns from 2008. Tutoe 104 Million bahali yake tuweke 200 Million. KRA officer thought his spectacles had been hacked. He removed them. Saw the same numbers live. KRA asked, what do you mean? They responded: The amendment will help us deduct higher depreciation and lower our taxes. KRA rejected it instantly. It didn't end there. KRA immediately smelled a tax evasion scheme. They deployed spies to investigate Eastleigh mall. The spies seized their most critical documents. The most important being management accounts. The spies returned with a very disturbing report. There were huge understatements between the actual income and what had been declared. Angrily, KRA slapped the mall with a tax demand of 386M. The mall protested. They wrote an objection letter to KRA showing they had paid all taxes and that management accounts were just internal projections. They sat and waited for a reply. Clock started ticking. At times tower, KRA is sipping chai undecided whether to accept or reject the objection. As KRA is doing this, KRA is unaware of 1 dangerous sentence chilling quietly in the Kenyan tax laws. It reads. - As surely as the sun shall rise tomorrow. Any objection decision issued by KRA after 60 days shall be invalid. But the Eastleigh accountant knew that sentence very well. He put 60 beans in his wallet. Every morning, he removed and dropped one bean in his office tin. Day 61 reached. His wallet is empty. KRA has not responded. He rushed to the director. Bossi, KRA has not responded. We owe them nothing. Tumeshinda. Call the party. Many months later, KRA sends their reply. - Hello mall. We hope this email finds you well. We have not forgotten you. We reject your protest letter. You must pay us 400M. The mall ran to court. - They argued that KRA’s failure to respond within 60 days meant the objection was allowed and no tax was due. • The tax appeal Tribunal said noo. The 60 days is just a mere technicality. Bring us more documents for review. The mall refused to supply more records. The Tribunal sided with KRA and ordered the mall to pay KRA 386m. KRA retreated to Times Towers telling the mall na tuliwawon. The mall ran to the high court. They argued again, no response within 60 days means no tax. The good judge asked KRA: Is it true that you responded out of time. KRA nodded like this. The judge removed his spectacles. Paused. Then sided with the mall. The mall was ordered to pay zero. KRA was ordered to pay the mall legal fees. Case closed. Lesson 2. • If KRA does not respond to your objection letter within 60 days, call the party. You have won. • If KRA pushes, run to court and ask for legal costs. Courts will not hesitate.

@WashiraX The tea was well served. Good morning 😂😂

@janetmachuka_ Happy birthday Janet.

It’s my birthday! 🎉 Adding another year to my life. Grateful to everyone who has made my life worth living. You matter a lot and thank you for being part of this beautiful journey of growth both personally and professionally. To another year Janet Machuka 🎂