James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn

My publisher wanted me to make a video about my upcoming children's book. I don't think this is what they had in mind. This might be the first ad to sell negative copies. Oh, well. At least we had fun making it.

Don't be jealous of my best feature. jamesbreakwell.substack.com/p/makeup-games

It was the only trip to a restaurant that's ever sent me into a spiral about the meeting of my entire life. jamesbreakwell.substack.com/p/the-conveyor…

I thought I was out of new milestones at my age, but, for the first time ever, I used my electric razor on my ears. Oh, the joys of growing up.

Nothing makes kids happier than a precisely measured competition with publicly announced winners and losers. jamesbreakwell.substack.com/p/spaghetti-an…

Here's a full explanation of the questionable decision-making that led me to taking my family out in the worst weather of the year. jamesbreakwell.substack.com/p/football-in-…

Pro tip: The best time to take your kids to their first NFL game is when tickets are super cheap because your team has already been eliminated from the playoffs and it's the middle of a blizzard.

Our New Year's Eve tradition is to play Rock Band together as a family. There are only two guitars but a room full of singers, especially when Journey comes on.

I told my wife there were rumors about a Star Trek Enterprise Lego set coming out. She just stared at me. I thought she didn't care. Then she asked if it was the Enterprise D. That's how I know she's still the one.

Some babies are angrier than others. This is the angriest one of all. jamesbreakwell.substack.com/p/rage-baby

My kids made up a game to play together. The first rule was "no hurting each other." I couldn't tell you what the other rules were. They immediately broke Rule 1.

It was kind of Facebook Messenger to remind me that, on this day three years ago, my wife sent me a picture of Tupperware from the store. Truly a moment I'll treasure forever.

Lightsaber chopsticks work even better as lightsaber hair accessories. We're living in the year 3000 over here.

Santa brought lightsaber chopsticks and cheese balls. Obviously meant to be used together.

Pajama and Lego Day. Christmas Eve done right.

This winter has been a battle in my house. jamesbreakwell.substack.com/p/all-the-smal…

I set a new low for hosting when I led our guests outside on a cold, dark night for this. jamesbreakwell.substack.com/p/the-polar-ex…

Stay warm out there. It's pigs in a blanket season.

My friend Clint Edwards has a new book out today! It's conveniently stocking-sized. Be prepared to laugh and feel all the feels. a.co/d/flWKbgd

That's one way to lose a friend forever over Thanksgiving. jamesbreakwell.substack.com/p/the-three-th…