on an ynndefinite hiatus

15 years. What a record. Met some great people since... literally through having my photo taken. Pleasure to be associated with it 🙏🙏🙏

The longest loudest scream @wetlegband Tune in to the @YouTube livestream from your chaise longue at yt.be/coachella

Breaking my hiatus to tell y'all I saw @HotMulligan tonight

Wet Leg quoted Arctic Monkeys' Alex Turner in their BRIT Awards acceptance speech. @wetlegband @ArcticMonkeys #Brits2023

@SilverNumber1 @TheMexicanFurby Wait, wouldn't they be closer/in eyesight of each other if he wasn't sitting right behind her? He's asking for too much tbh

@TheMexicanFurby They both have middle seats in different rows

Guy on the plane asked asked me to switch to the middle seat so he can sit next to his wife 😐

I forgot how strong Vicks smells

Okay I moaned

Listen, some of y'all really need to accept that maybe Twitter isn't for you anymore. Go be on Facebook and be relieved the bar is so low, you don't have to keep reaching! You'll love it, people will like your posts just because!

Greta Thunberg getting arrested and accidentally taking just the sickest photo ever.

Asians really said “fuck that we running back New Years!”

@whitedkellie I mean they don't make commission, right? So what's the push for?

@YNNABEAT Every time I ask for a suggestion they give me the highest priced item. I’m like, “Sephora literally makes their own eyeliner for half this price.”

Still pressed about when I went to s*phora and asked for my $13 Korean face wash that location didn't carry, so an employee recommended a DIOR cleanser for $47....

You call it chronic depression I call it having that dawg in me

Instead of taking pictures of strangers in public without their consent and posting them, this is what everyone should do! This is honestly so much funnier than taking a picture of someone you don’t know.

Pedro Pascal saying “I am your cool, slutty daddy”

I said forget about it cuh

Finding out "I feel like I'm losing my mind" is not an appropriate answer to "Hey, how are you?"

REAL

@S04P13 @EntraptaFangirl @piipstachio Wow her mind 🤯

MJF got his shirt at Dan Flashes. Look at how complicated the pattern is.