Laura Sanders

The only person who knows for sure they are pregnant at six weeks is me when I’m not.

@melindo64 My go-to joyful genre of images will always be “dogs wearing pantyhose”

New episode with @YayLauraSanders from New Orleans! Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Stitcher! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/no-…

Are you in New Orleans thinking “dang this Election Day snuck up on me, I’ve just want a reasonable and caring friend to tell me a good way to vote.” Here ya go:

I put things I really don’t want to lose in the special little zipper pocket in my purse. Everything else in my purse? It can go straight to hell.

Yeah he can talk to text but can he walk to text?

It is still funny to me that I make the same expression of whatever I’m drawing. Looking SO SURPRISED at my iPad right now.

I just never want to text the word ‘duck’ in all caps.

To my followers: do better

It’s so fucking dumb and rather embarrassing that Hell Yes Fest is happening again in New Orleans.

This is tomorrow night, only 4 tickets are left for the early show and a small handful for the late one. Get them right now and avoid a lifetime of regret! eventbrite.com/e/michael-meye…

This is in two days (Wednesday)! Not many tickets remain for the early show and the late one is selling quick as well so if you're planning on coming order one asap to ensure entrance. Ticket info below!

One of the bleakest American things I’ve seen was just now when a mall cookie cake company’s display had a mass shooting consolation cake.

The sheer amount of loose pills in my parent’s junk drawer feels like a performance art piece.

I apologize, it was simply too early in the morning for me to text you, “do you fuck with Damien Rice?”

Listening to Damien Rice, eating Rice Krispies, and living my best wheel of fortune mash up category life.

Next week I’m taking a Greyhound to a four star hotel and I feel like a Priceline ad.

“Croquet-ass loving people.” -Me, at a photo of Brigerton

Fanny Pack Full of Oxy is both a young party monster song title and a mid-thirties-caregiver-for-your-parent outfit.

@punchlinecopy These are SO GOOD!

In 9 days, October 5th, I'm recording my album @thelincolnlodge. I'd love to get as many people there as possible and as you can see am using every possible opportunity to promote it. Don't be like this lady though, order a ticket today from the link below!