Yitkyim

You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore

Happy New Year, @CustomsNG. On behalf of all smugglers, gunrunners and lovers of illicit and contraband items, I write to congratulate you on the December appointment of Deputy Comptroller of Customs (DCC) Bolaji Adigun, son of notorious smuggler Socopao, as the new Acting Customs Area Comptroller of the Kirikiri Lighter Terminal (KLT) Command, Lagos, not long after his elevation as the Deputy Comptroller of Customs (DCC) DCC of Onne Seaport, Rivers State. We all earnestly await the elevation of Socopao’s second son Rasaq to a similar or even more exalted position, knowing that two heads are better than one. Cheers to a beautiful — sorry, smuggling-full — year!😁

Every work day this week is a Monday. You can’t tell me nothing 😮‍💨

I’m doing mock PhD proposal defense with my prof and I want to just drop out now before I go and disgrace my village people on a bigger stage 😭🤣😮‍💨😅 God abeg x1000 🤲

@tirbaby Oh boy! They came for my jugular 🤣😅😂

Jtown people wanted to beat my friend that year

Maybe if Wike had carried his band to that place, LT AM Yerima would have forgotten his orders and danced instead 😅🤣😂

There is hope for the Nigerian Navy and Nigeria by extension cos this one act of courage really speaks volumes and gives me confidence. Lt AM Yerima should collect his flowers 💐 Gallant Navy Officer 🫡

Lt AM Yerima don go clear FCT Minister doubts 💯 Power jam superpower 🫡

“Existing protocol” dey cry for Nigerian events 😮‍💨 😅

The problem with domestic violence is that it can escalate and nobody knows who it will consume. That’s why I always say leave the marriage if it’s not working. Only a living person can be shamed over divorce. Choose shame over death 🙏

The depravity that turns a funeral service into politics will definitely result in the disgraceful videos now circulating on social media. When a solemn time is allowed to be weaponized to prosecute an agenda, we all will be casualties of the times.

@AirtelNigeria you have terrible customer service in Jos

Tyler Perry and Taraji P Henson should really stop traumatizing me 😭 What the hell is the emotional terrorism called Straw on Netflix 💔😫

@myaccessbank @accessbank_help please simply explain why my DiamondXtra account has not been able to receive credit transactions and you have failed to pay interest on my HIDA?

The sheer callousness, unprofessionalism and insensitivity of the situation serves only to destroy the lives (left behind) involved. There can never be any justification for the way this situation is being managed. No reason will hold in ethics for the release of the photos. NONE

@fisayosoyombo LMFAO 🤣 come and enter heaven let me 😮‍💨

After Ibrahim Babangida’s ‘A Journey In Service’, here are the top 10 revisionist books to expect in the next 20 years, their predicted year of publication, and their authors: 2026: Restoring Nigeria After One Million Years Of PDP Misrule — By Muhammadu Buhari 2028: Contentment: Rejecting The Offer Of A Third Term — By Olusegun Obasanjo 2030: My Sacrifice: Defeating Insecurity In Kaduna — By Nasir el-Rufai 2032: Resilience! How I Broke Down The Walls Of Boko Haram — By Goodluck Jonathan 2034: ENDSARS: Saving Lagos From The Children Of Anger — By Babajide Sanwo-Olu 2036: A Peaceful Man’s Way of Breaking The Yoke Of Political Godfatherism — By Nyesom Wike 2038: Eight Years Of Fighting Corruption To A Standstill — By Bola Tinubu 2040: How I Won Opposition #EndSARS Protesters Seeking To Remove Me From Office — Muhammadu Buhari 2042: A Democrat’s Approach To Defending Democracy And Press Freedom — By Bola Tinubu (Again) 2044: A Presidential Guide To Winning Elections By The Ballot — By Bola Tinubu (AGAIN!) EXTRAS 2046: All Of Nigeria’s Politician-Authors Are Deranged — By David Hundeyin 2048: UNDERCOVER: Inside Nigeria’s Multibillion-Naira Revisionist Ghostwriting Industry — By ‘Fisayo Soyombo

@HerbertGDaniel You’re missing the part where if “her neice” refuses to allow her inherit “her brother’s” money/property she disowns her. I can only imagine what the wife who would have been considered “water” (not blood) would have seen in their hands

Herbert’s daughter should be your niece! Or, as we usually say here, Herbert’s daughter should be your daughter. So, what exactly am I missing?

@meemahnyako May the Lord heal your aching body and heart 🙏

My mum just died. I recall what she looked like after fighting for her life, I hugged her body but the worst part is, I couldn't cry. After several hours of her demise, I tried to let the pain out but I couldn't breathe. Ended up in the hospital while I should've been strong😩

@meemahnyako Please accept my condolences 💐

This is probably the most painful moment of my life, I prayed to God for a miracle to heal my mum, I had so much faith and even when it was the size of a mustard seed, I still held on. God took my mum, the most amazing women I ever knew. I've not even been able to cry. Jesus!😩💔

One man mi fear ah di Messiah Me ah “girl” believe ina prayer Me step on di bakklefield without no shield And when shots ah fire And when me no’ve no food no water Jah love me never yet shorter Me ah talk this for real, all di pains me ah feel Dem ah kill we sons and daughters