零️NeptuRne and the white owl | Cms Open ~

Commission queue updated! Please be patient with me as I work on your commission! Thank you so much💙 trello.com/b/CI1GJXI3/yor…

When you draw, what makes you like "Okay, this looks good, I go with this" I spent the whole day experimenting with blending modes, gradient maps and grey scale. Nothing looks bad but nothing looks that good that I want to continue. Thinking that another version looks better.

A lot was happening simultaneously, a mix of bad and good things in life. The worst aftermath was convinving yourself you're ok while holding back the accumulated pain into tears until you're crying uncontrollably and confused.

@UFOkiyo You're welcome, glad you let these thoughts out of the bottle. It is not a sign of weakness, you're stronger than you think. I have avoided people which also reminded me of my traumas; I can say it was the best feeling, prioritizing your peace first before others consume it. :>

@YoruReido Thank you! I'm doing a little better since I wrote that post.

My loneliness is so easy for other people to exploit. Let’s hope one day it’ll stop. I hope one day I can say no and leave, even if it’s to one of the only people who talk to me. I want the strength to leave bad people, I want to think I deserve better than this.

eventually you'll get to a point where you turn your brain off when rendering your drawing and going auto pilot

My lil sis is graduating from high school soon, and the other one is working hard for her board exam. I'm just proud of them both, no matter what happens. ToT I'm that one nonchalant sibling, but I'm crying ! ! !

石膏像的天使

👀👀

I found some old writing I did relating to my persona(s).. why did I ever stop writing? I wrote these years ago.. but you can really tell how much I love them.

@UFOkiyo Woaahhhh UKIYO! I very much love reading your writing! I think pearls are already coming out of my eyes and falling because this is magnificent! I can't wait to draw with them soon. 😭

This one with Kyo in it too, it’s precious. It’s precious how they’ve taken care of me this whole time, I truly love them. I couldn’t express it all in anything I write.

I'm so emotional right now T^T, but I gotta work on cms because it makes me feel better while appreciating my process. I can't wait to share some finished works. I wish everyone were doing great so far. ToT Please be good!

Please note, I do 'first-come, first-served commissions, and colored illustrations are prioritized atm, if you commissioned me sketches, please consider the commission queue. This fragile body is working hard to finish each one of you. Thank you so much!

I very much appreciate patient clients like I really do. I don't use many fancy brushes to speed up my work as I mainly use only 3 or 4 default ones. I'm sorry, but I like to do every detail from scratch. ;^; I'm trying my best, please have trust in me.

@UFOkiyo Thank you so much Ukiyo, I do appreciate it! 😭

@YoruReido Happy late birthday, please get well soon!

Ohhh it's my birthday! 🫪 The back and front pain can tell, I don't have a bday art for myself.

My dear precious clients, please check my Trello for commission announcement updates. (Link in my pinned post). Thank you so much for your patience and understanding. For your concerns, feel free to message me anytime.🥹

Thank you so much my old and new friends for greeting me a happy birthday. I very much appreciate it. I've been anxious recently due to my reoccurring illnesses but as soon as I read it, it made me really happy. 🥹

@n0niiiiii @rottenkreuz Thank you so much Noni and Ato , I still need to be careful of my movements. If the pain still occurs after five days, I'll be taking echocardiogram. 🥹

@YoruReido @rottenkreuz that's still sounds alarming 😢🫂but im glad you're atleast doing okay now with medications, take care yoru ;; and GWS!

I'm in theEmergwncy room atm

Thanks for the well wishes, the pain has calmed down a bit after medication. Sorry to worry, I have to blame my shrimp posture which I sometimes does not notice when I'm doing it. 🫠🥹