Patrick Christopher

Fresh out of my therapy session. I've finally mastered the art of dry crying. Who's da man now?!?

Oh No. Let's Panic. #facebookdown

I'm not sure who needs to hear this, but you need another wipe.

I wonder if Taylor Swift plans on retiring.

Has It ever happened in television history to re-name an old show to re-release it under a new (non-problematic) name? Cause I sure could binge-watch "The Huxtables" right about now.

I'm an old soul, but young at heart. I started going bald before I had pubes.

I finally watched the #BarbieMovie   , and I totally agree with it's message... #MatchboxTwenty rulez.

I've been reading books by Feminist Aurthors. Because it's important to get the female's perspective, but in a male voice.

When I "take care of myself" without using the internet, just off 🎶Pure Imagination🎶, I call that Willy Wanka.

Women don't let you merge. What they want most in life, they don't do in traffic.

Girl Math: Solve for WHY?

You've heard of Elf on the Shelf, now STFU.

TONIGHT at Upstage Comedy Lounge. THE DARK SHOW Featuring some of the Funniest Comedians and their Dark and Edgy material. Audience Participation Welcomed!!! #sanantonio #friday #night #comedyshow #sanantoniocomedy #dark #edgy #standupcomedy #audienceparticipation #win #prizes

If White Claws are a ladies beverage, then why am I a better driver after 12 of them?

Don't mistake my weakness for weakness.

Yo. I've been out of therapy for a couple months now, so don't ask me "how you doing?" unless you mean that sh*t.

Stand-up Comedy Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt... suck it Vonnegut.

La Lucha (The Struggle) Open Mic Night. Every Wednesday @ElLuchadorBar El Luchador Sign up in person at 6:30pm. Show starts at 7:00pm. 5 minutes of stage time per comic. #thestruggleisreal #sanantonio #comedy #openmic #standupcomedy #sanantoniocomedy #openmicnight

My comedy sets are like my handshakes, 1 out of 5 times they're awkward and sweaty. #comedy

November is #NationalDiabetesMonth. The day after the biggest candy holiday is National Awareness of Diabetes Month. They are really cutting us off at the knees with this BS.