Zach Shaw

I love how diverse other languages are. For example in the UK instead of saying "According to my watch it's noon" you say " according to my Tickie Wickie is Sunny Uptime" and I think that's really neat

@ChipotleTweets I’ve done it twice.

@ZachyTwoHands Thank you for alerting us. Please send a message here so we can take action and be in touch with you: #report-an-experience" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">chipotle.com/contact-us#rep… -Soph

Hey @ChipotleTweets how come people in New York and Connecticut were able to change my accounts email and buy $70 worth of food with my credit card? Even more annoying why won’t your support contact me back?

@BlakeTyson13 That explains all the times someone told me they’d “oink” my mom

Anyone who has ever heard Call of Duty voice chat knows this.

Biden could literally have killed Hitler with his bare hands and some people would be like “wow, that no good POS just took away 13.6 million jobs!”

@Tmccan_ My grandma calls me once a week to tell me her Netflix doesn’t work on her kindle fire stick and every time I just have to go turn it on

Talking to old people about the internet is fucking exhausting.

@BAMSjohnson @BGOnTheScene Back the blue, amiright?

@BGOnTheScene Love it.. pay back is a bitch.. at least their not burning down small businesses!! 👍

Violent clashes between Trump supporters and police outside the Capitol as crowds try to re-enter the building late this afternoon #DC #CapitolBreach #CapitolBuilding

@BCBacker @BCBacker to the rest of us

In the 15-hours after the official SEC charging announcement, XRP has fallen nearly 30%, getting down to the weekly/monthly breakout level at $0.30.

@BaileyCarlin Fine. I don’t like it,but I’ll do it for you

Good morning everyone. Make your bed today. If not for you, then for me. Thank you.

@BrianPiotrzkow1 @theasylumcc @SYFY #Sharknado2 - The Second One was best. Followed by (in descending order): #Sharknado #Sharknado3 - Oh Hell No #Sharknado4 - The Fourth Awakens #Sharknado6 - The Last Sharknado #Sharknado5 - Global Swarming Now you know.

@ThunderLevin @BrianPiotrzkow1 @theasylumcc @SYFY I concur

Let's finally put this issue to rest. Which is the best #Sharknado movie? If you like, please explain why. #SharknadoMovies #TheAsylum @theasylumcc @SYFY

Grace just told me that I’ve been looking tiny recently and I’ve never been more offended

@JustinMcElroy Dang Juice, lookin good 👀

Syd said this picture (which our daughter took) was a “thirst trap” and then kept raising her eyebrows and eventually just shouted “because Mountain Dew”

@byndogehk @kayyybearxo Same, I’ve worked for tips, it truly blows

@kayyybearxo 20% c:

How much do you tip your food delivery drivers?

@BenChinapen Hi So Tense In My Neck Right Now, I’m Zach

I am so tense in my neck right now

It’s true, I found 6 Biden votes in THE REFRIGERATOR AT WORK! this has to be stopped

Just watched Hotel Transylvania for the first time and it’s weird that @JustinMcElroy was so worried about being in Trolls when he was already such a prominent animated character

@DShaw1988 Me trying to understand what happened there haha

#CallofDutyModernWarfare #XboxShare

@BlakeTyson13 Love to see us in an all out brawl against Kentucky in the end, sad to see us lose that one =(

"If you take the blue states out, we’re at a level that I don’t think anybody in the world would be at"

@_rammy11 @charlieINTEL @TomSeymour12 EDSAQ BABBBBYYYYY

@charlieINTEL @TomSeymour12 @ZachyTwoHands quarry or bust

Favorite landing spot in Warzone?

My favorite segment of the #PresidentialDebate is the one where the two old white dudes argue over who thinks they represent the black community more