ZileBish

723 posts

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ZileBish

ZileBish

@ZileBish

Writer/Director for Stage and Screen ✍️ Second City Film School 📃 CMU BFA in Directing 🎥 Single Bird Mom 🦜

Chicago, IL Katılım Mayıs 2021
187 Takip Edilen86 Takipçiler
ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
I like seeing shopping carts on the side of the road. They finally escaped the endless cycle of consumerism and returned to nature.
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
The American West is such a strange dichotomy. You have the most beautiful, sweeping vistas you've ever seen in your life, right next to a restaurant called "Spud & Chug"
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
Me: I have no food in the fridge Brain: because you ate it Me: I just bought food on Monday Brain: yes and you ate it Me: there is hardly anything here Brain: YOU NEED TO EAT TO SURVIVE Me: seems like a waste of money. I'll just order delivery Brain: why do I try?
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
Hey man, I'm sending you good vibes but I didn't want to pay for express shipping so they should be there in 3-5 business days.
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
First date idea: dress in a toga, go to the Renn Faire and pretend everything is from the future.
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
Man: Do you have tickets to the...GUN SHOW? *flexes* Me: yeah, hold on, I think I have an email. Man: wait no- Me: I know there's a confirmation number here somewhere. Can you look me up by last name? I also have the credit card I paid with. Man: You're ruining the bit.
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
Where is the hot, trendy millennial marketing for life alert? As someone who lives alone and works from home frequently, I would like to alert my friends and family I'm dead in my apartment but in a youthful way. Maybe with confetti
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
There needs to be a serious and a goofy year book photo. Like, yeah let's get a nice one for Grandma and then make a silly face. I want to open up a yearbook and see a bunch of kids making funny faces.
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
The feminine urge to clarify to your friend that you definitely aren't in an MLM and won't financially benefit from the over-the-top recommendation you just gave of your new moisturizer.
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
Me: yeah I saw this video last night, really insightful, changed my life. Friend: ooo interesting, was it one of the ones you sent me? Me: No, those were just a bunch of the dumbest memes I could find.
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
Depression logic is like "Wow, I am feeling so bad but you know what I should NOT do? Call on the love and support of people who have affirmed many times that they would be there for me. Bet they would hate that."
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
"heLLOOO darkness my old friend!! Omg so good to talk with you again, you would not BELIEVE these visions that are creeping, let me tell you...."
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
Me: So while it's not classical dance, my interpretation brings in a lot of classical elements presented through a more modern and interpretive lens. (Me explaining to the cop why I kept changing lanes.)
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
Me: show me Car: I don't think you want to- Me: SHOW ME *flips down mirror* Me: *fighting back tears* I knew it. The bathroom mirror lied. My eyeshadow is way too heavy. Car: Truth seekers rarely find happiness....also the oil light is on.
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
Doctor: enjoy the sunny day! Even indoors, it's always nice to see the sun. Me: yeah, uh, it just makes everything....lighter? My brain: YEP! There it is! There's that dumb response that will keep you awake tonight. Congrats!!
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
Take ADHD medication? No, I don't want to be dependent on anything. I'd rather rely on dozens of coping mechanisms I've created to incite a sense of panic that allows me finish washing the dishes. It works half the time!
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
Being a single bird mom has its days. I looked over at my bird and said "don't do anything that I'm going to regret" then watched and she bit a hole in my check book.
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
Sexy 900-number ad: Call now for adult conversations 😉 *Man dials, I pick up* Me: Hey, I don't know what to get your mother this year and frankly, it's not my responsibility, it's yours. Man: uh, is this adult conversations? Me: well it would be if you took accountability
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
My life January thru November: STRESS My life in December: STRESS (peppermint flavor)
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ZileBish
ZileBish@ZileBish·
I am an adult. I have a job. Yet some days I wish I could just raise my hand, tell my teacher I have a tummy ache and lie down in the nurse's office for a while.
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