ZxPhantom33

❤︎ #promotwt ❤︎ ⋆ 　　　* 　҉　.✦ZxPhantom33 ⌒₊˚ ♡ 　　҉　　　 + · ✧ *　 She ノ⠀her | yan ノ dere 　* . ҉　　　　 ✦ ҉ 22 , intp, anime, games · 　 　　　　　 ︵#anitwt #gemestwt #devtwt︵ ↻/♡ to be moots and spread, thank you 😽💖 What do I post? - Anime!! 🌸 - Games 🎮 - IT / Tech stuff 💻 - Memes & super relatable content! 🎀 - AI images (I also do hand edits with my tablet, teehee!) 🎨 - Just total nerd in general!!! 🌐 This is a little reminder for me! remember what you're doing this for. To who is reading this, help me make this happen! I NEEEED this PLUSHIE 💞✨

@punpunoctober Alcohol is 😋, but be careful about the side effects! You've gotta be ready 'cause you might have a major crash!

my sister told me to try some alcohol and i said no, poured some and it's the most mouth burning shit ever like peanut butter whiskey or something sobs. took the tiniest sip and my mouth was warmer than my ass after sitting all day, why is she trying to make me an alcoholic

@punpunoctober OMG you literally just described me, so I'm not like totally crazy after all! The line: "but then I regret it later... but then i'm not sure if I should even regret it" is so me, I lowkey need to get it tattooed

@ZxPhantom33 my thoughts r like scrambled eggs it's hard to even place timelines.. like when something actually happened... mixed with the emotional confusion it's just... what is even happening and where am I TT

i’m feeling kinda... sick right now so i'm just gonna vent a little... if you guys wanna read it that's totally fine, writing everything out really helps me feel better

@punpunoctober umm i don't really know much about my past because of all the gaps... but now when i have those blank moments.. it's not like i'm an animal or anything.. but i do things i know i totally shouldn't, and then i regret it and want to delete everything but ugh, whateverrr

@ZxPhantom33 yeah i don't remember a lot of the things that happened... it's so horrible, it's like your mirrored self is there but can't do anything, you just completely forget and can't stop it... when i'm sabotaging in real time i don't even recognize to stop, i'm just like an animal...

@seravhm v, what you wrote totally hit me. I really wanted to tell you something about the SH stuff in private... ok?

@ZxPhantom33 it’s horrible that we experience the same thing , it’s really hard for people to understand that , sometimes it feels like this disorder is who i am forever and it sucks so bad that no one gives a fuck irl

basically bc of that i don't talk to any of my friends anymore... like, i either cut them off or they just stopped reaching out, and then i just gave up on trying too... now my doctor told me to try again, but i'm still too scared to do irl, i don't want to ruin things or idk that's why i'm here now

@ZxPhantom33 i thought they hate me , self harm , harming any connection i have with anyone .. and other stuff ) i know it’s not that bad on paper honestly , i can’t even handle it because none of my friends ever react when i do this , like it’s normal , and it just makes me wanna do worse

@seravhm I went totally dark now actually, sometimes I find myself right in the middle of doing something... and I manage to stop (not always) but it's like I have these moments when.. it just gets worse.. like now

@ZxPhantom33 i dont remember half of the things i experienced when i shut down tbh , it’s like i’m stuck in a pocket mirror and i’m being dragged along in some horrible nightmare .. self sabotaging is like second nature to me because of how often i do it (leaving my friends because ++

i rly wanna ask anyone else who's struggling with actual diagnosed BPD... do u guys ever have total blackouts or are u always like, fully there? What do you even do when you're self-sabotaging in real time... how do you even handle the aftermath? i just need to hear your stories so i don't feel so alone...

sometimes when i'm like totally spacing out, i just need it to pull myself together and get back into my groove

@jooniepoopie Stay safe Kim... I'm honestly a bit worried about you... Take all the time. Sending you so much love 💓 (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

bye im gonna be inactive for a while

@seravhm If you are happy for the hit tweet so I am! 💖 But honestly, I'm lowkey crashing lol. I feel like X is burying me alive maybe I'm too much + anger... I want to scream but I'll spare... For now... I'm feeling like a ghost today

i think im just meant to be an internet girl with all the hit tweets i have actually

@seravhm So proud of you! 🫂✨ Time to go recovery mode now!

guys please pray for me i just finished my interview a while ago and im very nervous because the results are either within this day or tomorrow BROOOO I JUST SPOUTED RANDOM BULLSHIT ON MY ESSAY AND THE INTERVIEW ITSELF AND I JUST KEPT NODDING MY HEAD LIKE AN IDIOT

@maybeurwifie No, you're just having way more fun!

if i masturbate while in high am i raping myself?

Oki, 1-10 likes on my replies is totally fine, but after that it's just too much, I can't keep up with stalking everyone!!!! And why do my replies always get so many likes but my actual posts don't???

taking my antidepressants with coffee

@peeholelicker @WitchofYuri Um, sorry, but since when is this actually curable? Like, can you really stop having BPD? I'm asking for myself because meds don't really "cure" me, they just make me feel a little bit "stable"

There's no way ALL of you have BPD

Real Talk Rant time about magic pills and BPD💊 A lot of people don't get why I seem totally fine one minute and crash the next. My doctor basically makes me choose between two lives (0 or 1), and rn I’m gonna tell you why I picked the hard way even though I’m struggling 👇

A pan to the head? I wish… BPD is feeling so much internal agony that burning my skin or hitting walls just feels like a tiny tickle It's not some "manifestation" of pain, some times feels like u want to walk into traffic just to feel something else for a sec. Stop making it sound like an headache…

Confusing ASPD with BPD for larps/fakers ASPD is all about having zero emotions (void) BPD is like feeling everything multiplied (constant explosion) Stop acting like you know the pain when you can't even get the basic definitions right It’s not 'cute' it’s a medical reality!