JOY

There's no wrong way to be aromantic, asexual, or aspec. Intimacy is such a diverse concept that allows for different meanings and associations based on individual desires and boundaries. All the ways in which we navigate our identities are important, and I think that's beautiful

I'm so sorry but I need help to stay housed &cover needs. I haven't been getting help or traction. I can't work, not even for myself, due to disability. my body won’t survive homelessness again. $2,800 needed by March 31st. Anything helps. v/c: secretladyspider pp in 🧵⬇️

This devalues our identities, labeling them as intrinsicly incomplete and perpetuates the allonormative idea that the prerequisite to fulfillment and maturity in relationships is inherently sexual activity, which isnt inclusive to everyone's experience and is overall very harmful

"You're asexual? I feel sorry for your partners" Our identities aren't a burden or a sacrifice. Centering the quality of relationships around asexuality is incredibly othering. Partnerships with nuanced attraction can work, and sustaining that ace people aren't whole isn't okay

Saying queerplatonic partners are "just friends" undervalues both of these types of connection and belittles language accessible to us. Perpetuating the allonormative idea that true love is inherently romantic is harmful to both aromantic people and the community as a whole

While aromantic, asexual, and aspec people can engage in actions normatively associated with attraction, our worth shouldn't be centered around it. All of our voices are worth hearing and respecting regardless of how we interact with intimacy and the language surrounding it

Queerplatonic relationships are often rejected because they dismantle the hierarchical view of partnership that's presented by amatonormativity. The idea that romantic love is an inherent priority isn't inclusive to everyone's experience, and it's important to acknowledge that

Our voices should be uplifted and heard as much as everyone else's in the community. We're often dismissed and not taken seriously for no other reason than blatant aphobia. We're important and should be considered in conversation. Letting people know we exist isn't enough anymore

Not experiencing attraction to some degree doesn't inherently make us naive, and the fact that we're constantly being talked down to due to our orientations needs to stop. Belittling our identities and perpetuating that we're "too innocent" to be treated respectfully isn't okay

Aromantic, asexual, and aspec people are infantilized because attraction and partnership are viewed as a prerequisite to adulthood. This is harmful and projects that we'll "grow up eventually" but also that we aren't mature enough to consent or have valuable relationships

The allonormative framework that's ingrained into society views sex and romance as inherent to the human experience and equates those concepts with desirability. It creates a belief that one's projected attractiveness has some bearing on their personal identity, which isn't true

A common conclusion that aphobes come to about why people identify as aromantic or asexual is that we're unattractive, which operates under the assumption that our identities are performative but is often a projection of their own misconseptions surrounding our orientations

Friendly reminder not to ask intrusive questions about an asexual person's sex life just because they're ace. If you're trying to learn about how we navigate our relationships, there are appropriate ways to ask, but remember, we aren't obligated to share that personal information

Labels like queerplatonic and alterous not only help a lot of aro people with better understanding their identities, but they can also be very affirming of how we might experience attraction and form emotionally intimate connections depending on personal desires and boundaries

Queerplatonic relationships aren't lesser than romantic ones. Recognizing the significance of non-romantic partnerships without hierarchy is important to the necessary inclusion of aromantic people. Our experiences are real, and belittling the language accessible to us isn't okay

Also, some aromantic and asexual people experience difficulty surrounding emotions or expression in relationships of any kind, and it's important to note that our worth shouldn't be centered around how we interact with intimacy and the ideas associated with it

While it's possible we might express affection differently from what is socially considered normative by employing broader meanings to certain phrases and actions or choosing to not engage in what is generally expected of us, our relationships have weight to them

To disregard the value of aromantic and asexual intimacy, and the nuances that come with it, is to be ignorant to varied social dynamics and perpetuate a hierarchical view of relationships established by harmful frameworks that aren't inclusive to everybody's experiences

To pathologize or medicalize our orientations is to treat us, well meaning or not, as a problem to solve, not a possibility to celebrate and learn from. We aren't a burden, we're whole, and our identities are a part of what makes us whole

Aromantic and asexual people often have our identities met with attempted explanations rather than belief in our own self-understanding. They not only try to console us over a general misrepresentation but also ignore the time we spend discerning our experience before coming out