Ben Jonson

Why didn’t I write King Lear while quarantined during the plague? Because my children weren’t 80 miles away at home with my wife. #Checkthyprivilege

I HATE WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE! (Oh, and also trends. I cannot stand those.)

It stayeth away. #EURO2024

Anyone who believes an assassination attempt can be ‘staged,’ or ‘theatre’ hath no idea how difficult it is to successfully stage actual theatre.

@The_Globe The Alchemist, Volpone, Bartholomew Fair, Epicene, The Devil Is An Ass, Every Man In His Humour, Every Man Out Of His Humour, Sejanus, Catiline, Poetaster, Cynthia’s Revels, Staple of News, The Magnetic Lady, The New Inn, The Case Is Altered, Tale of a Tub, Eastward Ho, Isle of D

What's your favourite play written by one of Shakespeare's contemporaries? ✍️

Do not take military advice from Popes.

If you want to see theatre, go to a court of justice. If you want to see justice, go to a theatre.

The artist does not merely reflect the culture; we are all of us reflections. The artist focuses that beam, and useth it to cut. The best make us wince not at the pain, but laugh. Thank you, Mr. Lear.

Because they are articles, not tweets. Thought takes time.

Audiences: feign not surprise when a character called Posh turns out to be, in fact, Posh.

I mean, it’s not like Shakespeare *did* anything in 1616. I published a book. That’s way harder than dying.

Where were all the celebrations and retrospectives in 2016, the 400th anniversary of MY first folio? I mean, what else happened in 1616– Ah, yes. Right. That.

Judging by how many actors and musicians attended this #Coronation as guests of honour, the arts have really come up in the world! Or kings have really come down in it.

Trust me: some of us were stuck in Westminster Abbey a lot longer than four hours waiting for that coronation.

We are too trusting, to let puppets orbit the moon. What if they land, and build there a puppet city, and found a civilization of their own? You think I jest, but remember: puppets breathe no air.

Meh. It wouldn’t be the first time my platform got shut down. See you at the Restoration!

For better or for worse, people in democracies generally get the government they deserve. When they’re not careful, their children don’t.

Wait: so instead of writing those elaborate prologues and inductions, I could have just said “PARODY”? Such modern efficiency might save one the trouble of writing the rest of the play!

Hath Twitter a hotline to call if you don’t know whether or not you’re an impersonation?

We think it strange that the first act of the Pharaohs was to begin construction of their tombs. Yet even now we watch the end of a royal funeral 50 years in the planning. For monarchy is but the planning of funerals.

What 21st century listeners needed to hear in the King’s first speech: “my beloved Mama.” What 17th century listeners needed to hear: “my Anglican faith,” and “uphold the Constitution.” #QueenElizabeth #KingCharlesIII