《Jashhh》

@CoachMcBroom I’m more of a 2-2-1 guy.

Another summer for basketball… another summer of seeing a lot of 2/3 zone.

@_Jashtag Nephew? 😹

my cat is perfect. i am just watching her eat. she is so good at it. little drink of water after. genius. how is she so naturally gifted? i will die for her.

I lost my job today, guys! But don’t worry… I’m gonna be fine.

@Denyself14 @dominos

@_Jashtag @dominos I’m the new manager now since Cheryl quit. And there’s new rules now. Rule 1. Quit listening to little cry babies who want to complain about stupid stuff like “I DiDnT gEt My pIzZa 😭” Boohoo you cry baby. Call Pizza Hut if you actually want pizza.

@dominos I waited 2 hours for an order, I called the store and the manager said she was quitting and that I wouldn’t get my pizza?

@Denyself14 @dominos Wait until I tell Dominos about this harassment! Do you work there, sir?

@_Jashtag @dominos Quit being lazy and get it yourself.

“Kum & Go” is a terrible gas station name… but “Loaf ‘N Jug” might actually be worse!

@CoachMcBroom Then when you DO have open credit, it still drops your score! Thanks, Obama!

@_Jashtag Paid off my truck so I have no debt right now. Has dropped considerably every month due to not having enough accounts. The point is to NOT have accounts.

Credit scores are a sham.

@CoachMcBroom your baby is bad luck.

We’re having an all night revival, baptize me in a bottle of Beam, put Johnny on the vinyl. 🎶

@Reanea03 I’m coming over for dinner. 😂

Last night I had a dream my dog Riley had puppies but they were tadpoles can someone pls interpret or dm therapist suggestions thanks

I wonder if God ever sees me standing naked in the bathroom watching TikTok’s for 2 hours after taking a shower.

@DilanMarion @nikostratis “Sometimes I’d wake up in my twin size bed and wonder where my brother was.”

@nikostratis Dogs are forever in the push up position

what's the Mitch Hedberg line living rent free in your head?

@jordancw15 @NFLonCBS

Name a random quarterback

@MRandazzo8 Does this SOUND like something I would do? 🤷‍♂️😂

@_Jashtag Say it ain’t so……. Say it…. Say you’re kidding…

Not a lot of things infuriate me, but one thing that does is an intentionally loud truck that someone is revving, thinking they are Gods gift to women. Goodbye.