David Hundeyin@DavidHundeyin
As an aside, one cultural feature I would like to delete from Nigerian society is men paying their female friends for sex.
Stop. Paying. For. Sex.
If you're going to pay, find an actual sex worker, do your transaction, have your experience, and keep it pushing.
Don't let that transactional stuff thing seep into your real life. Stop making it socially acceptable for people to have sex with each other in exchange for money without the psychological acknowledgment that this is prostitution (which to be clear, I have nothing against).
Sex is not a precious or rare commodity. It is not a capitalist invention. It is a human experience which must either be freely experienced or traded in an acknowledged transaction. While I am a proud advocate for prostitution (I think it serves a very important societal role), I think it is very important to keep prostitution and regular human relationships firewalled away from each other.
Because this lack of firewall is taking human relationships in Nigeria into this weird, hyper-financialised space where even in committed relationships and marriages, people are trading sex for money. Even in schools now, kids are normalising trading money for sexual favours. So instead of going through the normal, awkward, personality-building teenage development phase that a boy must pass through to become a man, boys are now learning that money is this magic shortcut/hack for getting everything including the girl you like without actually putting in effort or improving yourself in any way - that money in and of itself is what gives you value.
Part of the manifestation of the externally-driven modification of our society that I keep warning about is that 15 years ago, a 14 year-old boy in Igbosere who wanted to date the cute girl in his class would have had to make an effort to learn to hold a conversation, dress and smell good, maybe play a sport or 2 and learn to speak confidently so that Tinuke would notice him. Nowadays, his immediate visual reference for what "man near me who gets all the girls" looks like is one dirty loser on Twitter called Ezra who looks like he has a permanent smell, or one Yahoo Boy down the street with colour riot clothes and trousers hanging below his butt - simply because they wield money.
Someone is trying to morph Nigerian men into a group of disgusting, pathetic losers who try to fill the void in their souls by paying for everything under the sun including love, and we must resist it. There are only so many rich perverts and liquid social deviants. If enough Nigerian men collectively stop normalising the hyper-monetisation of sex, the equilibrium will be restored.
Both the Yahoo Boy with the blue tongue and mouth odour inside his Mercedes GLK, and the sociopath nerd waving his American VC dollars inside his Tesla are signs of the same loser disease that someone wants to become our norm, and we mustn't be afraid to tell losers that they are losers. A loser does not cease to be a loser simply on account of wielding money - money itself is a construct.
