𝕋𝕠𝕣 ✨

The age of consent is 16 because 16 year olds bang each other, not because it's ok to have a girlfriend in year 10 when you're 42, Clive

Had a weird feeling and went to check the spider I left alone earlier and low and behold it was not where I left it. That motherfucker was IN MY BED. Nope nope nope nope nope

I’m learning Spanish on Duolingo! It’s free, fun, and effective.

If you feel like quitting your job just book a holiday so that you’re forced to keep going to make those payments. Follow me for more life hacks xoxo

do u really, truly, genuinely, deep in ur heart think that the same person who had u up crying at night, scrambling for an explanation as to how they could treat u so horribly and as if ur undeserving of BASIC human decency is like...ur destiny? that’s ur king? ur future? fuck no

@ceaubin This feels relevant because the dating pool has piss in it

WIN an 11-day trek to the awesome Mt Kilimanjaro for you and a friend worth more than £5300. You've got until 13th June at 12:30 pm to enter Click and register for your chance to WIN! win.evertrek.co.uk/ref/647dc4c28c…

We’ve progressed into the era of enjoying not having our day ruined by 8am

Shoutout to the jammy cunt that got a free 9 pack of Andrex cos my ADHD ass cannot get anything right lately. Trying to see it as a roundabout way of paying kindness forward but like.. I never buy the 9 multipack.. why did it have to be that one ..

Me, finally committing to an early night AND actually falling asleep. My cat:

@rococo94 @AngharadParry3 @ChloeBurrows Do better

Weird that you follow me mate

I’m terrible at sit ups & push ups but my fuck ups are on point

@msbexjoseph DEAL

@__findingtori You can come and snuggle me?! 🥺 (And the kitty’s 🤣)

Really missing that ride or die energy 😔 when the whole world is letting you down but it doesn’t matter because you crawl home into the arms of your person and they’re all warm & snuggly and everything feels alright even when it’s not😔

When you lose someone, what’re you actually losing? You’re losing knots in your stomach when they were ignoring you/gaslighting you/being cruel. You’re losing sleepless nights. You’re losing the stress of trying to hold onto something that always felt like it was slipping away.

@DrPeterWeeks1 Did you know that a Pringles lid fits perfectly onto a gu pot? You can use them to store nuts, seeds, odds and ends…

@mxmsworld The fact that they collectively feel like there’s a problem with Europeans and not the country that FORCES them to live this way, has me in a chokehold💀

No but I actually don’t mind collecting the food from the kitchen myself if I’m going to get bullied like this?

@Overnight0ats @madison_tayt 💀💀💀💀💀

@madison_tayt Why dont you get tipped enough then hahahahahahahaha

no one warns you about how fun life can be when you have double d’s and a fat ass and a brilliant sense of humor and perfect opinions and a heart full of joy