lana schwartz

happy pub day to SET PIECE 🌷🌷🌷

both believe that the male loneliness epidemic is real and that it's a psy op to get us to feel a little badly for them

Elon Musk’s cuts to U.S.A.I.D. led to some 700,000 deaths, according to Atul Gawande, a former leading administrator at the agency. Gawande, backed by recent academic studies, believes that the death toll will likely reach seven figures. The policy is not only immeasurably cruel, he argues; it is also stupid, badly undermining what remains of American soft power and prestige. Gawande explains the human cost of DOGE’s war on U.S.A.I.D.: newyorkermag.visitlink.me/H5AQWr

this is simply what happens if you buy pretzels and bring them onto the bus, they are at the mercy of the bus

on a bus ride from dc to nyc wherein the bus made a sharp turn and the big bag of pretzels i had just bought lurched out of my hands and spilled everywhere, cosmically unfair but very funny no one sitting near me registered shock or even a little dismay

It’s her time! Mrs. Met is a finalist for the Mascot Hall of Fame. Help the first female mascot in professional sports become the first female mascot inducted to the Hall of Fame. 🗳️ Vote Mrs. Met twice daily, now until July 26 🔗 mascothalloffame.com

not responsible for who i am or the amount of sour patch kids i eat in the backseat of a car or on a coach bus

the invite (2026)

i’ve been doing this for 12 years

kind of thing i say when i’m lying

@andrump3 will do this the next time i have a cough (probably next week)

@_lanabelle this happened to me but i bought cough drops instead, which is a gift that keeps on giving imo

had a cough so i spent $17 on cough medicine and then my cough went away before i could take it so maybe what i needed was to spend $17

Keith Hernandez in April: There's real cause for optimism for the Mets this season! Keith Hernandez in July: My miscreant children have eradicated my bloodline.

ICE has murdered Keith Porter Jr, Renee Nicole Good, Alex Pretti, and Lorenzo Salgado Araujo.

a lot of leftist men think that because they have good politics, they are inherently good people and don't have to self reflect on their behavior within their personal lives, especially with respect to how they treat women

(probably against my better judgment) i wrote about what the new york city comedy scene of the 2010s taught me about this graham platner incident

‼️‼️ICE IS IN BUSHWICK AND JUST ARRESTED SOMEONE ON HIMROD ‼️‼️

Had a great time riding the b41 bus with @Curbed and talking about how we deliver the bus system riders deserve. Today’s Fast Bus announcement will bring real change to New Yorkers daily lives — we’re getting to work!