MMM

The best thing about Amazon is they rather refund you than have a conversation about it

*getting ready to pay for my oil change* Mechanic: we also noticed tha- Me:

Our IT department has weaponized my love of free food. They send out internal phishing test emails to see who will click malicious links. The first one was an email from UPS about a missed package. I didn't click it. I'm a professional. The second one was a notice about mandatory password resets. I ignored it. I know how SSO works. But yesterday, they sent an email titled "Leftover catering in the third-floor breakroom." It included a button to RSVP for a slice of gourmet cheesecake. I clicked it so fast my mouse almost broke. Instead of cheesecake, I got a red screen telling me I had failed a cybersecurity drill. Now I have to take a 45-minute online training module about email vigilance. This is pure entrapment. If you promise an engineer free dairy products, all threat models go out the window.

love when i’m reading a book and get so immersed in it that everything around me disappears

being chosen by an animal will always mean more than being chosen by people

“I’m overworked and underpaid” Me at work :

It became impossible to lose them on the evening walk. 🤣🤣

Until death removes you from this world, reset button is forever pressable.

You’re not a millennial unless you have at least one daily thought like “maybe I should just quit and open a coffee shop somewhere near the ocean”

Y’all very young, but there was a time when we used to spend money buying ringtones, and now I’ve had my phone on silent for like seven years.

baba said his head hurts and i said it’s because of the phone wallah it felt so good

Having hobbies as an adult is wild. You’ll get emotionally demolished at work and then be like “Anyway, I’m off to swimming class at 6:30 pm”

The best 2 hours on vacation is rotting in bed w your friend while airdropping pics to each other & asking which pics to post.

The most underrated act of kindness is simply letting people be. Let them mispronounce a word, talk too much about a show they love, or get excited about something you don't quite understand. Everyone has something that lights them up, let them shine, even if it's not your thing.

'You must complete the HR mandatory safety training" Me:

grew older, i learned that the key to surviving the day is not positivity. it's acceptance. accepting that not all days are good and happy. you will have bad days. you make mistakes. you fail. you mess up. everything’s not going to fall into place and that is completely okay

They could live down the street and you will still never see them

“Can we hop on a quick call? Easier to explain”

Some days you can’t love social media enough. This is one of those days. It began like this. Someone stole 12 tons of KitKats. And then the replies started coming in. Scroll down.

the older i get the more i realise happiness is quiet mornings, a clean space, early nights, a safe home and people who don’t drain my energy.