tessa

“Your earrings are aggressive” That’s the point

Stale Cheetos are better than a fresh bag and you can’t convince me otherwise

✨ 2024 is the year of trading books w/ friends & getting tattoos of memes ✨👽

I mean this quite literally.. where do I find the audacity of a cis white male? Is it Costco? Bi-mart? Can I get a discount on a case?

Made a #dune inspired menu for work & idk if I’ve ever been more proud of anything ever

👽🛰️🛸♒️🐟

Jk what I really need to hear was Blonde

No. I want to hear Maps again for the first time.

Ripping some girls extensions out was the highlight of my When We Were Young

Quick reminder that mental health is not your fault but it is your responsibility 🙃

@djnso I’ll send you a picture when I have my face on but I’m in love with it ✨😘🖤

@_tessallate it’s gonna be stunning i already know it

Changing my hair for the first time in four years… fingers crossed it doesn’t bring on a mental break 🤞🏻✨🖤

Every park bench screams your name

@daintysipz LITERALLY TURNING MY PHONE TO AIRPLANE MODE RN 😭🖤😭🖤

Sure Portland sucks sometime.. but I just walked out my house to two goats “mowing” my neighbors lawn & it was the serotonin boost I needed today

Tobacco reps are back in bars. The world is healing.

My dad may be a piece of shit but the best thing he ever did was pick strong ass women to have children with

I’m not good with other peoples emotions but I do know the last thing you tell someone going through a break up is “maybe they just need some time”

I don’t drink whiskey but I’ll never turn down an opportunity to drink pickle juice in public and it not be weird

Is audacity on sale, and where can I find some?

A @DoorDash driver literally wrote an email to my work lying saying I was aggressive and “spit on her” 😂 ma’am I never came within five feet of you and we wear masks… but sure, so sorry you had to wait in extra 10 minutes because we were so busy.