the raven cycle

In that moment, Blue was a little in love with all of them. Their magic. Their quest. Their awfulness and strangeness. Her raven boys.

Adam seized Ronan’s neck, fingers hooked in his skin. Ronan could not kill him, no matter how much Orphan Girl begged. It was 𝘈𝘥𝘢𝘮.

He did not say 𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺, 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘰𝘯𝘦. He did not say 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.

He had memorized the shape of Adam’s hands in particular: the way his thumb jutted awkwardly, boyishly; the roads of the prominent veins; the large knuckles that punctuated his long fingers. In dreams Ronan put them to his mouth.

Three-year-old Ronan had wanted a brother whose love was complete and uncomplicated.

“I thought I was hallucinating,” Adam said, next to the lockers, an announcement droning on over the hall speakers. “Ronan Lynch in the halls of Aglionby.”

“You guys have a death list?” Ronan broke in. “That is fucking dark. Am I on it?” “Some days, I wish,” Blue said.

No one marked April 25 on their calendar. In fact, most of the living were unaware that St. Mark even had a day named in his honor. But the dead remembered.

Kavinsky’s voice, very clear: “Dying’s a boring side effect.”

He mumbled, “I’d ask you out, if I was alive.” Nothing was fair. “I’d say okay,” she replied.

Noah played the drums on the back of Ronan’s headrest. Adam, for his part, was not wild, but he did his best not to appear 𝘶𝘯wild, so as not to ruin it for the others.

“You can be just friends with people, you know,” Orla said. “I think it’s crazy how you’re in love with all those raven boys.”

In a low, unfamiliar voice, he said, “I 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 them.” And a little bit later, “The bruises he’d come to school with. Who has he ever had to love him? Ever?”

Adam was not Robert, but he could have been, and he forgave that past Adam for being afraid of the possibility.

Gansey was just a guy with a lot of stuff and a hole inside him that chewed away more of his heart every year.

Adam was not always alone, but he was always lonesome.

He asked, "Why did you go to Cabeswater without me, Adam?" Here it was, finally. The truth was a complicated thing. Adam shrugged.

In the passenger seat was Adam Parrish, the third member of the foursome that made up Gansey’s closest friends.

And here was Ronan, like a heart attack that never stopped.

When Ronan thought of Gansey, he thought of moving into Monmouth Manufacturing, of nights spent in companionable insomnia, of a summer searching for a king, of Gansey asking the Gray Man for his life. 𝘉𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴.

Ronan sat back, his eyes closed, swallowing. Adam watched his chest rise and fall, his eyebrows furrow. He felt as bright and dreamy and imaginary as the light through the window.