trex

what's worse than a heartbreak????? Me: when I drop my grinder and it's open 😏

Sometimes you have weed for dinner & that's ok

Rolling up that green like a lawn chair🍃 Two can tackle 🪵

I just had the greatest moment ever with a little kid at the grocery store Kid wearing a Batman shirt: standing in the middle of the aisle and sees me, places his fists on his hips and looks at me Batwoman. Me, also wearing a Batman shirt: Batman. Kid: Are you keeping Gotham safe? Me: Yes. Have you captured the Joker? Kid: Not yet, but soon. Keep up the good work. he spins around quickly and runs the other direction

Me: I took my ex back My friends:

Y'all ever feel like y'all need a break from social media but won't do it because of boredom? 😂

(Bookstore. Customer asked about a book we didn't have.) Me: "We don't have it in stock but I can order it for you." Customer: "How long will that take?" Me: "Usually about a week." Customer: "A week?" Me: "Yeah, sometimes less." Customer: "Can you get it faster?" Me: "Not really, that's just how long shipping takes." Customer: "What if I need it sooner?" Me: "You could try ordering it online yourself. Might be faster." Customer: "But I'm here now." Me: "I know, but our ordering system takes about a week." Customer: "That doesn't make sense. Why can't you just get it?" Me: "I have to order it from the distributor. That's the process." Customer: "Fine, I'll just get it somewhere else." Me: "Okay." (She left. I don't know if she found it somewhere else or ordered it online or what. Sometimes people think we have a magic back room with every book ever printed in it.)

My grandmother does not understand that I work from home. She understands the words individually. She does not understand them as a concept. Every time she calls me during work hours she seems genuinely surprised that I'm busy. Gran: (calls at 2pm on a Tuesday) Me: Hey Gran I'm actually in the middle of.... Gran: Are you home? Me: Yes but I'm working.... Gran: Good I thought you'd be out. Listen I need to tell you something. Me: Gran I have a meeting in ten..... Gran: Your cousin is getting married. Me: Which cousin. Gran: Patricia. Me: Patricia is sixteen. Gran: She's twenty two now. Me: (pause) Me: When did that happen. Gran: Time moves whether you're paying attention or not. Me: (sits down) Me: Okay. When's the wedding. Gran: June. You'll come? Me: Of course I'll come. Gran: Good. Wear something nice. Not that grey thing you wore to Easter. Me: What was wrong with the grey thing. Gran: You looked like a rain cloud. Me: It was a nice dress. Gran: It was a sad dress. Wear color. You're young. Me: Gran.... Gran: Something blue. You look nice in blue. Me: I'll think about it. Gran: Don't think. Just wear blue. Me: Okay. Gran: Good. How's work. Me: I actually have a meeting right now.... Gran: Are you eating well? Me: Yes. Gran: Real food? Me: Gran. Gran: I'll send you something. Me: You don't have to.... Gran: Already decided. Kiss kiss. (hangs up) Me: (sits in silence) Me: (gets back to work) Me: (genuinely looks better in blue)

You can tell who smokes on a regular basis because as soon as anything vaguely weedlike wafts by, all their heads pop up and they start sniffing like prey animals at a watering hole.

At a weed store you can say, "I want something to help me sleep that won't make me wonder if my back door is unlocked," and they will take you seriously, think hard about it, and then say something like, "Have you tried Ooga Booga Skywalker Cake?" 😆

@Shefw_maii Sure 3.5g is affordable. 🍃💯

U CANT BUY HAPPINESS BUT U CAN BUY W££D, AND THATS PRETTY CLOSE

Not addicted to weed lol...it's just nice to smoke when i wake up, and then like before i get in the shower, also before i eat and stuff, and then like if i'm going somewhere i'll smoke or if i'm watching something or playing a game. oh and then like it's nice before bed ya know.

Potheads will tell you they function better when they're high and then sit in silence with their mouth open for 15 minutes.

@rossyybabe @fw_andyyy They be pretending fr.. 😆

@_trexszn @fw_andyyy They know But pretend

I have never actually been caught smoking weed but I'm pretty sure my parents know sober people don't give goodnight handshakes.

Weed is like a secret society for chill people only.

I burn cannabis, sage, and bridges whatever it takes to get away from negativity.

The older I get the more I realize how much I appreciate relaxing at home with a blunt

I pledge alligence. To the bag. Of dank ass marijuana. And to the bong. For how tall it stands. One lighter. Loading bowls. Smoking happily. Coughing & highness for all. 🍃

@Lexi_zns No doubt 😏

@_trexszn We different fr..

Y'all smoke weed to fit in... I do it so I dont beat on one of y'all...we different.