A Gold Omen

Duelist with 1 flash is crazy work 💀

i’m 13k in credit card debt, owe a friend 7k, and super behind on taxes when i first blew up in Valorant over 5 years ago, i went all in with no back up plan and now life is kicking my ass i set myself up for success, establishing my name making pretty decent money but now i’m struggling due to lack of passion to create content, figuring out how to rejoin society, and feeling so far behind that i often don’t feel human in Valorant terms it’s like blowing a 12-0 lead and then losing in overtime, shit was going smooth and then we fucked up big the hardest lesson i’ve learned about being a streamer/content creator, you have to stay super consistent. take time off and you’ll destroy your numbers before Valorant: i created content as a hobby while working at FedEx with no idea what i wanted to do with my life during the height of my success, i never had a good grasp of what money means since i don’t come from money or how to manage it i was also a very inexperienced 24 year old, never touched alcohol/weed, and was nervous navigating the airport for the first time having never been on a flight then one weekend, i decided that i was doing well in life with my newfound hype online so i took my first flight and fell in love with the feeling of drinking/smoking as you can imagine, i spiraled out of control. lost my consistency when it came to streaming and creating content. overall my mood was destroyed slowly along with getting drunk and high a ton, i fell into the ubereats death trap where i didn’t cook any of my meals for 3 years or so which is disgusting to say but hey, you only spawn once on this rock and not everyone is brought up to have all the right answers i’m happy to say i cook 99% of my meals now and eat super clean/boring now as my priority revolves around gym progress i’m 30 now and still have no idea what i’m doing with my life, but i’m sure if i remain positive i will eventually figure something that makes me excited to wake up having zero passion for Valorant being known as a Valorant creator kills me inside. i’m the least happiest version of myself trying to grind the same content for 5 years in a row. and it really reflects my mood on stream. this is also a really shitty part about streaming is putting yourself in a box fulfilling one niche — my biggest advice if you jumping into the streamer / content creation life, if you find your niche and you’re gaining hype please hold on to it and ride with it and don’t try living above your means ($$) but my BEST advice (something that i didn’t do) is to have a backup plan that will give you stability if things don’t work out — i never had one and still don’t yet a third piece of advice never hurts: burn out really fucking sucks. so if you find any success online doing one thing, try to add some variety eventually so you don’t put yourself in a one-niche box unless you absolutely love what you do online and can visualize how passionate you will be after years down the line — going broke after being financially well off has been one of my greatest lessons i’ll ever get to experience — i really know the value of money now when it comes to paying bills, grocery shopping, and living a more inexpensive lifestyle so the next time i’m up in life, i’ll be more prepared to spend properly and invest you can use this post to make fun of me, but i want to be transparent because people just assume you’re well off if you have a decent sized following — nah, not if you’re dumb as fuck like me 😂 hope this post can help someone in the future not make the same mistakes i did much love y’all, i got some work to do 🫡