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Knock at the door. I open it.
Neighbor kid: “I… I was trying to do a… a ding-dong… thing..”
Me: “A ding dong ditch?”
NK: “Yeah!”
Me: “But you forgot to leave?”
NK: “Yeah!”
Me: “Do you want to try again?”
NK: “Yeah!”
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childish branzino
37.2K posts
childish branzino
@absflora
non-practicing intellectual
the middle distance Katılım Ocak 2013
429 Takip Edilen2.2K Takipçiler
childish branzino retweetledi
my beautiful daughter Dont Photograph Strangers In Public and my beautiful daughter Phone Off In Theatre
Everything Price Sufferer (but especially eggs)@agraybee
We should go back to the Puritan naming convention of naming kids after values, but updated. Instead of being named Obedience you can be named Punctuality.
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For those of you who were calling me annoying all along: shut up
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I used to be somewhat popular on this website and occasionally I’ll get a notification where someone likes a years-old tweet and I’m like omg why was anyone following me I was so annoying
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I could never be a manager at a retail establishment because I am simply not deeply triggered by people briefly doing nothing
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Does anyone wanna follow me on 🦋? I might talk about horticulture and try to learn how to make jokes again idk
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Hey! I did some paintings of oranges inspired by my favorite poems about oranges and two prints are available on my Etsy shop. They’re 8 inches by 8 inches and $20 plus shipping. Link in bio!
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8x8 is a standard frame size that you can easily find on the internet and I think even in stores like Target and Michael’s so no need for custom framing. If you have an Etsy account, please follow my shop to see more upcoming stuff!
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I’m taking the lyrics of rainbow connection and really holding space with that
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Think Trump’s tariffs won’t affect you? Expect price hikes on:
•Iced tea imported from England
•Lifeguards imported from Spain
•Towels imported from Turkey
•And turkey imported from Maine
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Ignore the mess and how I look and everything and just LOOK AT THIS ENORMOUS STAGHORN FERN I GOT FOR $20 ON MARKETPLACE!!!!
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This was a joke, but why would this resonate with me? I do not work late.
I go to sleep… Sabrina is a wonderful young vocalist doing her thing. I wish her nothing but success and longevity, Pop Crave. 🤨
Pop Crave@PopCrave
Dionne Warwick when asked by NPR if Sabrina Carpenter’s “I’m working late ‘cause I’m a singer” lyric resonates with her: “That does not resonate with me”
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hey does anyone know what my personality is and if i am succeeding at being a person? thanks 💜
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Liesl when she found out Rolf was a N*zi:
Danielle@behindnmetaints
you’ve destroyed the sanctity of this gazebo you belligerent fool
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