tommy

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tommy

tommy

@absolut_alien

i ain’t got no ass cause ur mom keeps eating it

Katılım Kasım 2025
86 Takip Edilen8 Takipçiler
crackalian / autumn
crackalian / autumn@AbstractDarkk·
life lesson: when someone says this, they mean they listen to radiohead, jeff buckley, and tame impala. maube childish gambino
Disappear@disappear30

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jay
jay@wonderboybabe·
@vampirexxvi @wikipetanfan 5 years on t and unfortunately this shit does last forever in my experience 😞
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transthony bourdain
transthony bourdain@wikipetanfan·
advice for people going on T: immediately after your first shot be sure to TOUCH YOUR FACE!!!! GET YOUR HANDS ALL GREASY AND TOUCH YOUR FACE ALLL OVERRRR
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tommy
tommy@absolut_alien·
ok
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tommy
tommy@absolut_alien·
waving good bye to my co worker and a customer waved back so now i have to wave goodbye to two people
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tommy retweetledi
sarah
sarah@sandwichlover7·
I’m on top. I take off my bra. 5 pieces of popcorn fall out. We eat 4 and fall asleep. In the morning we find the 5th and you smile and say “im going to hold on to this.” When you’re in the bathroom, I eat it.
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tommy
tommy@absolut_alien·
guitar action too high and i dont have an amplifier anymore i shoukd FUCKING kill myself
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‏ًfrankie🍎
‏ًfrankie🍎@frankyuriero·
"pete’s only side hoes were underage" -> i said that pete was mikey's side hoe not the other way around. that pedo is a fag sorry guys frankyuriero.straw.page
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Greg the Sorcerer
Greg the Sorcerer@gregthesorcerer·
Got caught eating the body of a hiker in the woods
Greg the Sorcerer tweet media
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tommy
tommy@absolut_alien·
@MatrixOnVHS dudes will be like "hey Sexy i Want you" and then not tip
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The Matrix On VHS and DVD
The Matrix On VHS and DVD@MatrixOnVHS·
Dudes will see me covered in trash juice from closing the bar and still come up to me and be like I Waunt You
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tommy
tommy@absolut_alien·
surprise bitch my life sucks
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tommy
tommy@absolut_alien·
@akutagawa_nyan this is a joke in case you’re schizophrenic or like ocd
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tommy
tommy@absolut_alien·
@akutagawa_nyan i don’t even know you but i’m letting you know im rapidly approaching and i plan on stealing that guitar
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EatMeSlowly🤤
EatMeSlowly🤤@WetPussyHoneyy·
I made HOME MADE MACE.. includes bleach, alcohol, spritz, salt, rat poisoning, lemon juice and cayenne pepper !!
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tommy
tommy@absolut_alien·
spent the last of my money on a cake that i plan to eat while watching 1982s hit movie "the thing"
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Keşfet

@AbstractDarkk @wonderboybabe @vampirexxvi @wikipetanfan @frankyuriero @MatrixOnVHS @victimrard @elonmusk