apple!! 🍎 (edtwt)

#edtwt intro ~* u can call me apple!! 25yo they/them goals in bio :P autistic!! born w the ed built in yeaa. currently on some ortho/ana combo bullshit if ur 20yo+ we can be moots!!

bc size 2 h&m jeans…. bought them a month ago n they were kinda tight at the time….

my body dysmorphia has gotten so bad i literally feel like the biggest chud alive n look in the mirror n feel giant n then i see bcs on here same build same height same bmi n am like ‘oh they’re so tea’ like THATS OBJECTIVELY YOU. still facking hate myself n how i look tho #lol

would have to be a little lower cuz 1. still scared of that many kcal n 2. my bmr is def lower now im like 10kg less than when i quit going to da gym n just focused on restricting so im thinking 1200?? keeps me under current bmr + daily movement routine will cut that in half easy

anyways. kinda thinking abt transitioning back to my diet where i eat more n exercise purge it every day cuz im kinda over this low intake im always tired. n i lost at the same rate i am now when eating 1500kcals n working my ass off every day in da gym + was stronger so

ended up having another meal roughly another 550kcal i think. turkey + cheese + cucumber + popcorn n roasted chickpea mix i gotta stop staying up so late to do hw/study i get absolutely RAVENOUS past 10pm

omad after my fast veggie egg scramble + sweet potato w cottage cheese + avocado 590kcal 38g protein

no classes today so i walked to the grocery store to get some steps in :3 still under 10k steps but i was schlepping 20lb of stuff the entire way back (~35mins) so i think that evens out lol

shoutout my cycle i fucking hate u. entered ovulation n went up 1.5kg overnight in water retention like do u want me to kms bruh u must be joking.

scale is ragebaiting me again so we’re fasting until it’s back to normal #whatever

@winiferstars definitely eat before!! at least a protein bar or something. and drink lots of water!! idk how big a peice ur getting but its good practice regardless before any body mod session. the appt can be miserable if ur underfueled/dehydrated (speaking from experience)

how important is it to eat before a tattoo? my artist said i need to eat a carb filled breakfast but i never eat breakfast and i don’t want to keep fasting.

why can’t apples be 0 cals and infinite and huge

despise the stairmaster cuz it’s boring as shit so instead i’ve just stopped using the elevator at my apartment (i live on the 14th floor)

macros on my lunch pissing me off but i’m trying to eat more healthy fats cuz lowk when i was eating avocado toast every day my digestion was the smoothest its been in my life even while in a deficit. can’t eat bread anymore but ig i can nuke my intake for half an avo every day

lunch (probably omad) egg tacos + avocado 460kcal 32g protein

had an apple :O 60kcal no pic cuz i had to cut it up w a butter knife so it looked really ugly aha

dinnerrrrrr veggie omelette + cottage cheese + cukes w tajin + kimchi 345kcal 38g protein

also trying not to grocery shop at the moment cuz i’ve lowk been overbuying on accident n i leave town soon so i think i can just work off of what i have until i leave. esp since im planning on two more 48hr+ fasts before then like i think i can stretch what i already have

literally zero idea what i’m going to eat today lol (if anything, kinda tempted to multiday fast again since im already at 24hr) like i have eggs and some misc produce and yogurt but none of those are particularly speaking to me at the moment idkkkkk

I hate being skinny fat like my body is so tea but it’s also so ass

lunchhhhhh just leftovers from last night aha 460kcal 32g protein