Austen Humphries

To brighten up budget day, I am giving a set of these Fabulous Mr Benn badges away. To be in the bowler hat, all you have to do is retweet this tweet. I'll choose a winner this time next week. Good Luck!!

@mrhenrymorris Don’t be confused, he’s just the prick we all know he is.

Nigel, I'm confused.

@Matt_Pinner Nothing, none of your business, the end?

Whats going on with all these British women? 🤔

@WD18Fans @MattHughesMedia #textorout

John Textor is looking to buy Watford if he sells his Crystal Palace stake. 🇺🇸 [@MattHughesMedia] #WatfordFC

@tom7tom7000 @cricket_badger He (Jimmy) didn’t write it, so it’s ghost written. And is this your first time on Twitter as far as opinions go? If so, you’ve got a long road ahead…

@afhumphries @cricket_badger Yes, because it wouldn’t need correcting. The rest is nonsense, but it’s opinion.

When Jimmy Anderson was taken to a Manchester bar and shot. I can't think Australia would have done this with Glenn McGrath.

@tom7tom7000 @cricket_badger So if I’d have just put “written”, you wouldn’t have felt the need to reply?

@afhumphries @cricket_badger But when you brought it up it’s not boring semantics?

@FunMovieTVFan Pembleton and Baylis

Best cop duo from Television? #FilmX

@tom7tom7000 @cricket_badger Congratulations on some truly boring semantics.

@afhumphries @cricket_badger It’s not ghost writing when it’s been spoken about at length that Felix White is writing the book.

@IvankaTrump How do you feel watching your Dad wank off a microphone? Oh, and Happy Birthday!!!

This past week, I turned 43!   Reflecting on life’s lessons, here are some truths I’ve learned along the way:

@duzza007 Also, it looks tacky as shit, and they’re doing it for all the wrong reasons anyway.

Why do people need to lie, nobody is offended by the poppy, literally nobody. Why do certain people seem to want to lie about someone being offended by a poppyy. Nobody asked to take a poppy down. #dobetter #poppy #lies

@7Sec4 @metoffice Claustrophobic, great shout.

@metoffice I mean the lack of wind and rain is great but the heavy gloomy sky, my God is so depressing. It’s been the same for a full week and your forecast is the same all this week too. Just awful, claustrophobic almost

This week's weather phrase: Anticyclonic Gloom ☁️☁️☁️ This can occur when high pressure traps a layer of moisture near to the earth's surface, bringing a prolonged period of dull and cloudy weather, with mist and fog also possible. How would you describe today's weather?

@rebeccafpainter @jamieklingler Ugh

@jamieklingler Oh no

Happy Birthday Hotlips!!! @Loretta_Swit

@PunkRockStory Never occurred to me at the time that this might be the last time I’d ever see them. They seemed sort of eternal (which sounds very naff I know…)

22 years ago today Fugazi gave their last live performance, The Forum, London, November 4, 2002 #punk #punks #punkrock #hardcore #hardcorepunk #posthardcore #fugazi #history #punkrockhistory

@Acyn Man Mass debates a microphone

Trump: We have big rallies. We have 50,000. During the debates she said your debates don't really draw, and everybody leaves early. My debates never have an empty seat

@Acyn Bore off you gaseous old fart

Trump: I took over the mess that Barack Hussein Obama, who is a big divider.. I've always treated his wife with respect… she came at me the other day. That is not nice of her to do. And I think we are going to start having a little fun with Michelle.

@ElonJoin839 @KamalaHQ I mean, you can literally hear him dribbling on in the background. Sounds hollow as hell. Get him to fuck.

@KamalaHQ Awww. So cute. Now show when they both were at capacity and not just one hours before the people showed up Loser.

A few weeks apart

@WatfordFC A Murder of Crow

In honour of Janey Godley, let’s get #TrumpisaCunt trending! 💕