Nick Hinton@NickHintonn
“Saint Nicodemus the Hagiorite says that one sign that we have faith in ourselves is that we become extremely discouraged when we make a mistake.
When you suffer a fall, when you commit a sin, when you give in to a passion—if you have a high opinion of yourself, great faith in yourself—then you are crushed, you collapse, you lose heart, you despair, you grieve excessively. This is a criterion.
Why? What does this mean? It is because you had a very high idea of yourself. And when you fall, that idea collapses, and so you lose your support—like a huge building that comes crashing down. The same thing happens to your soul, because you were relying on your own strength, on yourself, even for your spiritual struggle and for everyday matters.
That is why, as you see, a single failure—even leaving spiritual matters aside—in ordinary life can completely destroy many people. For a lifetime! It renders them useless. Why? Because they hoped in themselves and not in God. Whereas the one who hopes in God will say:
‘Alright, I made a mistake. I will go to confession. I will do whatever I can humanly, and then God will take care of the rest.’
Such a person will never reach extreme sorrow or extreme despair, never become incapacitated.
This is a sign, a criterion. From this you can understand whether you have an exaggerated idea of yourself—by how you react to your falls, to your mistakes.
You see, many people tremble at the thought of making a mistake. Why are you afraid to make a mistake? They tremble at hearing a correction. They do not want to hear a remark. They want to be flawless, perfect. And if they make a mistake… ‘That’s it, I’ve lost everything.’
This shows great egoism, great pride, a very inflated idea of oneself. And because you were relying on yourself, the idol collapses—and then you lose everything. But when you place your hope in God, that idol does not exist; you rely on God. Alright, you made a mistake. And who doesn’t make mistakes? It’s human.
Doesn’t a baby who is learning to walk fall? What should the baby do—say, ‘I won’t get up again’? If it doesn’t get up again, it will never learn to walk. That’s how we are too. We try to walk, we fall. We get up. We fall again. We get up again—until we learn not to fall.”
— Hieromonk Savvas Agioritis