Adrianne

My cat: Me:

Sitting here minding my own business at my desk at home and I look up out my window to see a man wearing a plague mask walk out of my building and get in his car (that he had parked in front of a fire hydrant)

Michael Phelps is literally referred to as a freak of nature because of his disproportionate wingspan, double jointed ankles, lung capacity twice that of an average human, body that produces half the lactic acid of a typical athlete, and he is rightly celebrated for being the greatest male swimmer in history. Meanwhile, female athletes with genetic differences are legally discriminated against and harassed to no end. This is not about “protecting women in sports” - this is about protecting a very specific idea of what a woman is.

My new apartment is 1000x better than my last place but I forgot that a garden level means more bugs 🥲

happy 4th of july to her

It’s the time of the year where the ice cream truck in my neighborhood drives by every night between 9:30 and 11 with the music playing and they always idle somewhere nearby so I have to hear it for like 20 minutes

Sometimes my job is just explaining geometry to people over and over again until my head explodes

rent AGAIN……

@TheGoldenRatio4 @lovesdogs1313 @_kaitlingrady @NerdPyle @JeppsonsMalort @IngoBurghardt It’s the Chicago in you

@lovesdogs1313 @_kaitlingrady @NerdPyle @JeppsonsMalort @IngoBurghardt Are we the only people in the world who actively enjoy @jeppsonsmalort? I make great cocktails with it and am also totally on board for shots

the most self-aware ad I’ve ever seen

Happy Aries season! ♈ 🎂

@xseventhsage Also nice pic 🥹

and what if i wanna just sing hazbin soundtrack front to back on loop no skips instead of working?????

@xseventhsage I support this

Ken getting nominated and not Barbie is honestly so fitting for a film about a man discovering the power of patriarchy in the Real World.

@buggirl Or they’d somehow monetize the teleportation industry and airline travel will be for the poor

thinking about how even if someone figures out how to teleport we will never be allowed to know bc airline lobbyists would crush them like a bug💔

My cat is asleep on my shoulder and I can’t sleep bc this is not a comfortable position but she’s soooo sleepy and cute 😭

Every night for the last month or so my cat will come to bed & fall asleep in my arms w her head resting on the pillow. Tonight she stayed on the couch super late so here I am at 2am holding her while she falls asleep like the precious little princess she is

This is me saying I’m a wine drunk adult child

Tonight’s girl dinner includes finishing off 3 different bottles of wine (that have been open/almost finished and sitting in the fridge for weeks) paired with a lunchable & uncrustables

Also rolling out a (vegan) pie crust on 18” of countertop is every bit the challenge as it sounds