Akiroq Brost 🌞

We only have the realm of control over ourselves. so trying to let go of that. So that we can step into our agency, so we can empower ourselves on what we can do rather than what we can't.

We can leave that for someone else. That's not our responsibility, and that's up to us. We can still forgive them, in terms of letting go of it and understanding that we cannot control the actions of other people. We don't have that realm of control.

When other people wrong us, if we hold onto that resentment, if we carry that with us, if we revisit that and torture ourselves with that, if we can't let it go, then we have a strong anchor to the past, which impedes our momentum forward.

And every moment you spend punishing yourself for not being them is a moment you're not actually living your life. What if you stopped demanding that you be someone else and started working with the person you actually are? That's where the suffering ends.

We carry around this image of who we're supposed to be. More disciplined. More put together. Further along. And we measure ourselves against that image constantly. But that version of you? The one who never struggles, never has bad days? That person isn't real.

Today I want to share a quote with you from my book, The Adaptive Habit Menu. "The distance between who you are and who you think you should be is where suffering lives." This one might sting a little. Stay with me.

I put everything into a book: The Adaptive Habit Menu: A Flexible System for Building Habits That Survive Real Life If you've ever quit a habit after breaking a streak, this might be worth a look. books2read.com/u/mKjL5B

Simple concept. But using it well takes practice. It takes honest self-assessment. It takes trusting that showing up at a lower level still counts. It changed my relationship with myself. I've watched it do the same for others.

Most habit systems have one version of success: do the thing perfectly, every day. Miss a day? Broken streak. Failed. But you don't show up the same way every day. Nobody does. What if there was a different way? 🧵

What if procrastination isn't a character flaw to overcome but information pointing to something specific? The delay might be telling you exactly what needs to be addressed. Stop fighting yourself and start listening. akiroq.substack.com

The standard approach to habits treats you like a machine with faulty code. Just override it. But you're not a machine. You're a person with layers. When you power through without addressing what's underneath, you're not building a habit. You're building resentment.

Procrastination clusters around four emotions: fear, shame, boredom, resentment. Each one sabotages differently. Fear needs safety. Shame needs compassion. Boredom needs meaning. Resentment needs acknowledgment. Generic productivity advice can't fix what it doesn't see.

It's January 13th. If your resolution is already slipping, you're not lazy. You're trying to negotiate with someone you're not listening to. The part of you holding fear, shame, or resentment doesn't disappear because you made a plan on January 1st.

@justinsuntron @mominsaqib Have a nice time! It's good to see you smiling! Enjoy.

Fun fact: in Pakistan, a rickshaw is not just a ride, for many drivers it supports the whole family. 🛺🇵🇰 Big thanks to @mominsaqib for pulling me onto a rickshaw again. Time was short so I only mastered one thing: the brakes! 😂 Rickshaws are like the city’s capillaries, connecting people to daily life and keeping everything moving. Respect to everyone out there working hard every day. 🙏

Procrastination destroyed my productivity for years. I tried time blocking, apps, and motivation videos. Nothing worked. Then I discovered the 2-minute rule changes everything. Start any task for just 2 minutes. Open the document. Write one sentence. Your brain stops resisting and you keep going.

Ever felt lost in your own life? Here’s how to finally honor your true self. Sometimes, it feels like we’re just doing what everyone else wants us to do. Like we’re following rules that don’t even make sense for us. Days start to all look the same. You wake up, go through the motions, but where are you in your own story? Where is your joy? Here’s how to start honoring your true self right now: First, pause and ask yourself, “What really matters to me?” Not what you think you should care about. What truly lights you up inside? Next, find one small way to bring that into your day. Maybe you love being outside? Take a walk after lunch. Maybe music makes you feel alive? Listen to your favorite song, even if it’s just for 3 minutes. You don’t have to change your whole life at once. But you do have to show up for yourself, even in little ways. So, here’s your challenge: Today, do one thing just for you that honors who you are inside. Let me know in the comments how you honored yourself today. Save this if you need a reminder, and share it with someone who might feel lost too.

@justinsuntron Nice! You finally did it! So happy for you!

A childhood dream from thirty years ago has finally come true.