Everybody trying to tell me this was a mistake is just stockholm syndromed with their own big boxes, jealous of my new found autonomy. Shut up, I will not regret this (because I secretly have a second box).
Finally threw away the big box of cables I've been carrying around with me from flat to flat for 15 years. Random scarts, av cables, USBs indeterminate. Gone. Feels good, man, I feel free.