ali

She’s a 10 but she grabs her bag and stands in the aisle the moment the plane lands

me: what's the distance from new york to los angeles? delta agent: approximately 3,000 miles me: cool, one ticket please. i'd like to use miles delta agent: ok great, that'll be 20,000 miles me: are you drunk

im playing two shows in november! NY and LA! grab ur tickets here bennettcoast.com/tour

I have so much and so little respect for people who still buy frappuccinos

i’m not gonna text her tonight but i will endorse her skills on linkedin

I am fucking TIRED

Play it cool Rodney.......play it cool......

when u hit the fast serve in wii tennis twitter.com/thegreatkhalid…

I am dogsitting a demon

Happy Birthday Sisi! I hope you had a great day babe! Mucho love 💕 @_sienaatkins miss you☹️

Happy Happy Birthday Audrey! I love you so much, thanks for all the laughs & mems babe 💃🏽💃🏽@audrey_lindner