Alison

My name is Alison, not Jessica Jones, and I should not drink 4-5 shots of bourbon in under 10 minutes.

Watching bae chair dance to Mariah Carey #justalisonthings #coworkereouldbeproud

When you texting your married sister about gay sex from the bar while shes trying to have Thanksgiving with her in laws... #justalisonthings

@widowblade yaaaaassss accept your place as low level boss.

A man can't drink Hennessy... But bacon vodka? Sure!!

Ed Reinhold, FBI, says FBI has investifarted about 70 leads already. Live Video: trib.al/O4giUV3

Dear youth services, stop getting stuff from the warehouse we don't have space. XOXO Circulation

"I peed my pants" - @emilyrose115

@widowblade young girls in general are terrible, especially on Tumblr

Just watched a man take hand sanitzer from the front desk and apply liberally to his underarms. #justHTPthings

"It's like a wet fart sound" - @emilyrose115

Number of fucks I give about your shitty java bubble bobble clone? Zero.

@emilyrose115 yes

There is a bag of eyes in my desk...

Did I just ask to be notified when snail goo eye cream comes back in stock? Hell yes I did.

There is a man across from me wearing crocs. We all know I am going to spend the next hour struggling with this.

"I'd be pretty pissed if someone got me a poop diamond" - @emilyrose115

Car is less than a year old.. Waiting 2 hours so someone can tell me why my heater doesn't work. FUN TIMES!!

BALL SECURITY

@lecksy you are become @perfectspade collector of Wiis