steve ambler

What fucking joker put the charging port on the bottom of the Apple mouse? Sick sick humour

I eat Citymapper for breakfast!

Citymapper ain’t got shit on me!

A stitch in time keeps the doctor away

Actually, despite what you may think, I have no ill feelings towards that perfectly turned out family that turns up to the school gates not out of breath practicing their times tables

I recently posted a rather cocky tweet about picking the right size coffee lid. However, unfortunately this morning I messed up my omelette - which had been perfect for months. I’ll learn from this and work hard to get back on the track.

googles England shirt

@heythereitsber My word is my my proof, I’ll do it again, you’ll see!!

@amblernectar Where’s the proof

Picked up the right size coffee lid, so… pretty big deal nowadays

I dreamt that we hadn’t run out of kitchen roll. We have.

So many great options for a new leader to replace Boris, there’s errr, oooh erm gimme me a minute, hmmm ahhhhh so annoying, I’m sure I had a few I was thinking of, there was definitely one, errr

Ahhh West London…where coffee goes to die

I feel like there was me, and then me post lint roller.

My 4 year old dancing to Sonic Youth is a life peak

A snippet of @heythereitsber at Wasserman party Friday #SXSW

I’m going as Hank Chinaski #WorldBookDay

If Boris was busy telling us what to do, did anyone remember to tell Boris what to do? Nobody warned him?! God, we’re useless bunch of cretins, sorry big dog.

The announcer on the underground advising people to take the next train if the require a “hainault service” should be careful dropping h’s and t’s.

They should put Lego on the octagon floor in the @ufc, then we’ll see who’s really made of stronger stuff! #’uuuckssake!

Hey Mr. President it would be a honor if you would attend my fight! My world title campaign starts Dec. 7th in DC! Let me know! #44 @BarackObama 🇺🇸🏆💯