ANALISA CINTA

a single-minded devotion to my goal.

ky pertama x pegel bgt tangan kanan kiri kenapa deh

udah di titik capek bgt tiap malem susah tidur tapi badan udah capek paham gak😩

bukan hanya akan Banding, i will obviously file a report to KY, MA, Ombudsman, anything deh pokonya.

jujur as a lawyer sering merasa hukum di kita tuh bobrok bgt, sorry to say apalagi kualitas Hakim nya, sampe udah berapa x laporin etik nya, but it’s just a job apapun hasilnya yasudalah.

until today, ngeliat hasil putusan sidang keluargaku sendiri, memang brengsek aja Hakim tuh banyak nya males baca, males mikir, udah di tahap gedek bgt capek tiap megang case yang gampang bukan nya dipertimbangkan dengan seksama MALAH ASAL. shame on you.

sebulan ke belakang aku bener-bener jadi harimau tiap jam makan si Cetta, udah hilang tuh ibu-ibu soft spoken, tenang & penyabar selama 2thn kemaren.

peluk banyak untuk diriku sendiri yang hatinya pernah berkali-kali patah di tempat yang seharusnya menjadi rumah.

akhirnya bilang ke suami “aku galau gimana dong ini udah stengah6” jawaban dia dari soto betawi dialihkan ke tongseng aja ceunah gapapa, yang penting istrinya ngga banyak mikir😆🫶🏻

aku sbg ibu-ibu cinta masak ini, udah ready banget mau masak soto betawi utk suamiku yang gak pernah request apa-apa. pas daging sdh ready, ternyata bumbu nya kurang. aku punya bahan cukup utk masak opor & tongseng.

no one. litterally no one would understand how much it hurts when it comes to my child. my flesh & blood. not even the father. call me crazy all u want but this is not about me & my pride anymore.

terus Ayah nya sesimple ngomong “makanya Bu blablabla”, yang masak Ibu, yang nyuapin Ibu, beresin muntahnya juga Ibu, mandiin (lagi) juga sama Ibu, shame on you bae bae dah dlm berbicara @alberthndrko 🥵👎🏻

the perks of raising a toddler, udah makan nya gabisa diem, giliran udah habis muntah banyak bgt. 💔

bcs no one, n-o-o-n-e would understand being hurts from our own expectation. 😆

bener-bener sekelilingku ngga ada yang bisa surprise atau make me happy that way karena semua literally under my control. kinda make me sad every single year, but also have to deal with it.

gonna have to make a peace with that inner child tho.

i already have my boys for protecting me. their presence is real. my fears were just a shadow.

and here’s the truth. i know what i'm going through. i don't need to be believed to be right.

so instead of crying, my body choose to sleep, 15hours a day. 😮‍💨🙏🏻

I'm not falling apart — I'm grieving and my body is protecting me.

I'm not an abandoned child. I'm a grown woman grieving.