Camden's Finest

I’m using the Nancy Reagan stamp to mail drugs to all my friends.

Congrats to Charlie Kirk for achieving 5 days of sobriety!!! #maga #CharlieKirk

Pete Hegseth is going to jack off on your belly

Goth children learn to read using a ouija board.

@busted_halo2 This is my grandma…and I’m showing her this!

I’m buying Graceland and growing weed in the jungle room.

@ww_us How many points is the bug that just flew in my mouth?

The guy who self immolated at the Trump trial was a minor celebrity on r/stupidpol and used to co-host a podcast entirely focused on Laura Dern (it ran for 53 episodes)

.@peta suggest putting magic mushrooms on glue traps for mice so that the little rodents are more relaxed as they meet their fates.

Let OJ “the juice” Simpson rest in peace. The real killer confessed back in the 90’s on the album Deadly Verses by Gangsta Pat.

Whoever said Ohio is boring is lying

Getting sent to school with a lunchable in your lunchbox was like getting half a blowjob after prom.

I’m proud of being in the path of totalitarianism.

every place in this small Ohio town in the path of totality is completely overwhelmed by having five customers

Where were you when Lincoln was killed? I was watching the Seinfeld finale.

The resurrection of Jesus (Taylor’s version)

I think funerals would be more popular if they were called ghost weddings.

I’m forcing my family to watch the new road house movie sober.

You just know that both parents have massive bushes

With all of my concerts canceled, it’s a fair statement to say I’m a victim of cancel culture!

AI hasn’t progressed to the point where it’ll take crypto in exchange for some sexting.