If they make enough sequels to Jurrasic Park eventually they will remake Chicken Run.
West Bromwich, England 🇬🇧 English
Andy White - Comedian (He/Him)
10.5K posts
Andy White - Comedian (He/Him)
@AndyJWhite
I'm a stand up comedian. I pull funny faces and do silly voices. If one of my tweets amuses you, feel free to RT.
Birmingham, UK Katılım Nisan 2009
991 Takip Edilen2.5K Takipçiler
Shakespeare was born on April 23 and died on April 23. So today he gets to be and not to be.
West Bromwich, England 🇬🇧 English
Asked Claude AI to teach me philosophy. Just submitted my first essay. Claude gave me 68%. Qualified human gave me 48%
Wish I'd written about Stoicism. I'd have taken the result a lot better.
West Bromwich, England 🇬🇧 English
Chuck Norris isn't resting in peace. He roundhouse kicked St Peter and sommersaulted over the pearly gates.
West Bromwich, England 🇬🇧 English
When Chuck Norris saw the light at the end of the tunnel he stared at it until it blinked.
West Bromwich, England 🇬🇧 English
Andy White - Comedian (He/Him) retweetledi
Tonight in the Studio!
@chortle Hotshots: @AndyJWhite (host), Henning Nilsen, @TalDavies , Alex Lennox, Lawrence Dodd, Daniel Tizon, Kat Higgins, Shawn Uyosa, Mark O'Keeffe & Aalex Mandel-Dallal
Doors: 7:30pm
Last entry: 7:45pm
Approx finish: 9:45pm
🎟 bit.ly/ChortleGleeBham
English
Treehuggers 1, Flagshaggers Nil ❤️
West Bromwich, England 🇬🇧 English
So glad the Queen isn't around to see this. It would have broken her bank account.
West Bromwich, England 🇬🇧 English
Reposting my brief encounter with the man who has just joined Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
Andy White - Comedian (He/Him)@AndyJWhite
This just happened. Saw playwright Tom Stoppard in the street. *Excuse me, sir, are you Tom Stoppard? *Yes I am. *I heard you on Radio 4 talking about your play Leopoldstadt. *So you recognised my face from the radio? *Err yes And then he left.
West Bromwich, England 🇬🇧 English
Nearly forgot that today is the birthday of Doctor Who. Fortunately, he reminded me next week.
English
"I think therefore I am what I am."
Rene Gaycartes
West Bromwich, England 🇬🇧 English
Actually, Reform do want black faces in ads.
Lickey, England 🇬🇧 English
After watching the recent murder on TV, I have a question:
Has Selena Gomez lost weight?
West Bromwich, England 🇬🇧 English
Andy White - Comedian (He/Him) retweetledi
Mac Bernie (Andrew McBurney) & Tash (Jack Kirwan) Live at Glee Club
This is Tash’s stage debut.
Miss you ah kid! ❤️
English
RIP Norman Tebbit
GIF
West Bromwich, England 🇬🇧 English
Andy White - Comedian (He/Him) retweetledi
📆 Sunday: Rough Works, featuring Adam Beardsmore, @JoshPughComic, @LBarpaga, Darren Harriott, @ourladyofFlan, @AndyJWhite, @TalDavies, @kwamedy & James Cook
New material from the Midlands' finest comics
Tickets 🎟 bit.ly/RoughWorksBrum
English
Two goldfish in a tank. One says to the other, "How do we stop that squeak?"
West Bromwich, England 🇬🇧 English
I see the new Pope is from Chicago. First pontiff to come from a musical.
Here comes Leo in his new white gown
For all that mass!
Cofton Hackett, England 🇬🇧 English
Andy White - Comedian (He/Him) retweetledi
Tickets on sale now and an advance sell out is very likely, so don't wait to pick yours up. Head to totnescomedyclub.co.uk
Only £15 in advance, £17 on the door.
If you are wanting to eat beforehand, the @rsstotnes will be offering their Wednesday Pie & a Pint deal for £15.
English
Andy White - Comedian (He/Him) retweetledi
Getting some lovely reviews for my children’s’ novel. I’m really very proud of it. I published it and am promoting it myself, so do spread the word amzn.eu/d/bwPQa8J
#selfpublished
English