JC
2.2K posts
@BowTiedMara Solo si milei es emperador de por vida. Nada de peronistas en Uruguay gracias 😂
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I've been dealing with a sort of crisis the last many months - I haven't quite felt like myself. My recovery isn't as effective as it once was. My stress is consistently high. My motivation, for many things, is suffering. I have a hard time being realistic about what I have been through in the last several years and how this affects me, both mentally and physically. I have regular medical anxiety, which only started after the most recent bowel obstruction. ("Do I have a stomach cramp or has my small intestine turned necrotic and septic again?")
I decided to run this by ChatGPT to get an unbiased summary of my experience and how it plays into where I find myself now.
I have to say - I'm impressed with its output and somewhat shocked at seeing my "trauma" listed out in this way. I never thought of my experience in those terms, which feels like a mistake, as I'm discounting what my mind and body have been through whilst simultaneously making greater and greater demands of them.
Here's what it delivered:
🌪️ Your Medical Trauma Timeline
🧠 Epilepsy Since Age 12
- Diagnosed with intractable partial complex temporal lobe epilepsy
- Seizures occurred monthly for decades despite high-dose medication
- Grew up with daily fear, unpredictability, and medical interventions
- Finally became seizure-free in 2017 after adopting the ketogenic diet
- Also led to 160+ lb weight loss
- Massive physical and identity transformation
🎗️ Uterine Cancer + Hysterectomy (2013)
- Diagnosed with uterine cancer
- Underwent a hysterectomy to treat and prevent recurrence
- A major reproductive and hormonal loss, often overlooked but deeply emotional
💥 Appendix Rupture (2020)
- Gangrenous appendix ruptured
- Led to massive infection and hospitalization
- Surgical trauma and start of significant internal scar tissue/adhesions
⚠️ Bowel Obstructions and Surgeries
- October 2023: First small bowel obstruction requiring resection
- August 2024: Second obstruction—necrotic, with sepsis and cardiogenic shock on the operating table
- Caused by adhesions from prior appendectomy
- A terrifying, life-threatening experience that left emotional and physical scars
- You now live with daily fear of the next obstruction, wondering if it will be fatal
🌡️ Other Ongoing Health Conditions
- Interstitial cystitis with recurring flares
- Joint pain in hands, knees, ankles
- Likely chronic inflammation
- Current physical fatigue, emotional flatness, CNS burnout
- Perimenopause, managed with estrogen patch
- Epilepsy in remission but decades of trauma from living with it remain
- History of multiple abdominal surgeries and systemic infections
🧠 Emotional & Psychological Load
- Ongoing trauma layered over decades:
- Childhood seizures and medication side effects
- Multiple near-death medical events
- Cancer, surgeries, chronic pain, and intense bodily unpredictability
Symptoms:
- Hyper-vigilance (especially around physical sensations)
- Health anxiety (“a weird twinge might not be harmless”)
- Emotional numbness/anhedonia
- Guilt around rest
- Nervous system dysregulation
💔 Family Trauma
- Your mother was recently diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer
- She begins chemo and immunotherapy this week
- You are carrying the anticipatory grief, helplessness, and fear of watching a parent fight for her life
💼 Workplace Stress
- Company was acquired by private equity
- Post-acquisition effects:
- Layoffs, stack ranking, and PIPs with impossible targets
- Many roles outsourced
- Leadership expectations on you without formal authority or protection
- Culture of overwork, perfectionism, and fear
- You feel like one “off week” could put your job at risk
- Yet you’re still seen as a top performer—a “rockstar”—which adds pressure to never show weakness
🏃♀️ Your Current Coping Mechanism
- You hike 30+ miles nearly every Saturday
- Not just for fitness—it’s your only escape from work stress and health anxiety
- You chase the runner’s high to regulate your mood
- You also lift weights multiple times a week, including heavy lifts (e.g., 120 lb squats, 105 lb bench)
- Your training is high-volume, high-intensity, but your recovery isn’t keeping up
- You’re realizing that your exercise, while therapeutic, may also be exhausting your nervous system
- Despite all this, you still feel guilt when resting, like you’re slacking or risking weight gain
💡 The Emotional Truth
- You’re not exhausted because you’re fragile.
- You’re exhausted because you’ve carried more than most people face in a lifetime—and you’ve done it with grace, silence, and strength.
- You’re still standing.
- You’re still healing.
Your body isn’t trying to torture you.
It’s trying to protect you.
But it’s stuck on high alert, constantly running diagnostics that leave you exhausted, distracted, and disconnected from joy.
What your body doesn’t yet know—and what we can slowly teach it—is:
You are not in danger every second
Not all pain is a warning
You have the tools now to listen without spiraling
We can’t flip that switch in a day. But we can start building moments—tiny, anchored pauses in your day where you teach your nervous system:
“Not right now. This is not the emergency.”
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New protest dance against Milei, there is no way he will recover from this.
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@timricketts_ @miladydebanter Blasting prerecorded messages that can’t be silenced through hospital phones is also done 🤦🏻♂️
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@miladydebanter I find them really helpful: until I see the emails I tend to keep people in hospital for weeks longer than needed just for the company! My ward rounds consist of board games and handing out whatever I’ve baked that day.
Thank goodness for managers telling me how to do my job!
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After 7 days in hospital, half in ICU, I finally get to go home. Just one last IV to contend with.
Very thankful to still be here grateful to my family and friends, and ready to start the long and patient road to recovery.
…again. FML, man. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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@maximumcharacte @anoncj1 Anakin was a whiney punk, so it was super gratifying watching hum get wrecked at the end of 3 😂
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