ٰ@joyfularchives
250420 🐯💭
czennie, hi…
have you been doing well?
i feel like lately i’ve only been talking to czennies about heavy and serious things, so honestly i haven’t felt at ease about it and i feel a bit regretful… but since today will probably be my last bbl for a while, i’m sending this message with a heavy heart again today… i really never imagined a day like this would come or that i’d be saying something like this directly to you, czennie… as i write this message, it all feels so strange to me too.
while you’ve been receiving my bubble messages, if even just a little bit of them gave you strength, and if there was even one moment where you got some good energy while going through your day because of my messages, then i would feel so happy, relieved and truly grateful. even though i wasn’t able to come on bbl very, very often… every time i did i think i always did it sincerely, hoping that you would gain strength from it.
when i received and read your messages, czennie, there were so many times i gained strength from them. you might not even realize it. even these days, when i read your messages, there are so many moments where i feel comforted and my heart becomes warm.
in that sense, this space called bubble has always been fun and i think i was even happier because you enjoyed it together with me.
but because of that, i’ve been really worried and felt heavy-hearted thinking that after today, my bbl ending might make you very sad or make things really hard for you…
but you know this isn’t truly the end, right? and you know it doesn’t mean we’ll never communicate again, right? as the day for my bbl to pause has been approaching, i kept thinking about what kind of message i could leave so that you would feel the most reassured and still be able to gain strength until the end. and i think that’s why, naturally, i ended up sharing glimpses of myself working on music with you these days.
these days, i’ve been working hard on music in the u.s. i’ve been working in various ways with different people, writing music and going around looking for inspiration while experiencing many different things.
i’ll come back soon to czennie and to czennies with a new side of me and new music.
i also heard that some czennies were worried that i might retire… during this time, i really wanted to comfort czennies and markfs who must be having all kinds of worries and i wanted to be a source of strength for you… i’ll really do my best. but instead of just coming back after simply working hard, i’ll truly grow properly and i’ll return with music made through new forms of expression that can show that growth.
czennie, you’ve often told me you liked hearing my stories… so i’ll try to put more of my stories into my music. because of that, i’m also spending this time thinking more deeply about myself, rediscovering who i am, and searching for new inspirations to express myself in new ways.
i’ll come back soon with a newly prepared way of communicating as well. i’m sorry it feels like i’m just making you wait… i made you wait a lot during my solo album too… but this time as well, i’ll definitely repay you with something even better, worth the wait. let’s both take this short time to grow, and meet again soon.
it’s not like i’m saying we’ll never see each other again, but i’m really going to miss you. truly. but mark isn’t going anywhere, so don’t feel too sad or have too hard of a time, just wait for a little while. i’ll be back soon.
thank you so, so, so much for being on bubble with me, for listening to my stories, for always giving me strength, making me laugh, sharing fun conversations, and always treating me so kindly… we’ll meet again soon!
fighting today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow…
even on all the nights without my messages for a while, i sincerely hope you sleep well. once again, thank you so much, and i love you.
😭😭😭😭😭😭
