AnthonyOutOfContext

"These are nice balls."

"Crackers are suppose to fill a void, not be a culinary experience.""

"Triscuits are like eating baskets. Wheat Thins are where it's at like eating cardboard."

"awman, I can't believe I've never stretch them before. I hit them and they went like WOMP WOMP. ...like a proper drum."

"I LOVE THOSE HOES. Everything about a dog is in those hoes!"

"God damnit. I gotta free this monkey."

"First you call me stupid, then you sip your drink too loud...I'm gonna have to take you back to the adoption pound!"

"Sometimes I think I could choose not to be an asshole, but then I'm like, 'No, that wouldn't be true to myself.'"

"Spirit Airlines is the cheapest...that's great if you're okay with a dog piloting your plane."

"If my mom wants to see me walk I'll wear a damn trash bag and a hat and walk across her living room."

"It was Christmas's first year. Yep. She was everything but Christmas..."

"I want an emergency shit!"

"It's always tax time!! IT'S NEVER ANYTHING ELSE. UGH."

"I wanna know what about a Whopper makes those eager beavers wanna get busy in the bathroom."

"I want you to jizz your pants when you say that. ...don't actually do it."

"I don't want the piss fuck. I just want the shit."

"I wonder how many souls I can use. OH! Yeah. GET IT. Go!!! RUN JASMINE RUN!"

"I crack myself up on the shitter! Sometimes I don't even want to get up."

"BAM! I'm probably gay now."

"I want I want something really salty...but then a whole cake."