Anti Jokes

What do you call a cross between a Toyota and a Honda? A cross. Some priest must have dropped it

I have a bed, but do not sleep. I have a mouth, but do not eat. What am I? Tired and hungry

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms. *knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

A man dies. He is later buried and his family and friends are deeply saddened, especially his only son who later kills himself saddening the family even more.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

With this pen you can write 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒘𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓. You can also write other words.

What is a 4 letter word that can commonly be found at the start of questions.

Three American guys start digging a hole straight down, guess where they came out? The same hole, after they got tired.

I've always heard that "icy" is the easiest word to spell Looking at it now, that makes sense.

Two chemists walk into a restaurant. The first one says to the waiter, "I would like to have H20." The second one says, "I would like to have Potassium Cyanide."

When I drink alcohol people call me an alcoholic. But when i drink Fanta nobody calls me or texts me.

They say that 88 percent of people can’t do math. Luckily I’m a part of the other 12 percent.

You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold.

I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it! Although only if it's seafood, because of the seafood diet.

“I’ll have an H2O,” one chemist says. "I’ll have an H2O, too,” the other says. The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position as well as pragmatic context.

What has four letter, sometimes has nine letters and often has five letters? My mailbox.