Apple Critic

Wow, I have a stinky dick! #MyTwitterAnniversary

@julie_larson98 get that shit out of my face

@ta2ner I shall take you under my branches and train you. My tutelage shall plant seeds of knowledge in your mind-soil

@ta2ner although I like the Hey Arnold bit

@ta2ner woah woah woah, who the hell made you the rater all of a sudden. Let's calm down here, buddy

@ta2ner very firm skin, extremely sour flavor, repulsive, belongs in crappy restaurant tap water. 0/10

@faithinlove97 looks firm, nice color, helps old ladies cross the street. A good deal. 8/10

@julie_larson98 big. Nice crunch. Very sweet flavor. Basically perfect. He could steal my lunch money and I would say "thank you." 12/10

Too sweet, a few soft spots. Nice crunch, but not too nice. Commits crimes to provide for his family. Really tries. 6/10

Nice crunch, juicy, sweet flavor, weird filmy residue left in mouth, is an early adopter, bird-watches occasionally. 8/10

@julie_larson98 you're mistaking accuracy for harshness. Pick a better apple next time

@julie_larson98 too round, multicolored, very light skin, probably wax, lies to his girlfriend. 3/10

@logandimotta this apple is filthy and should be set on fire 0/10

Gonna rate some apples on here. Tag me in pictures of your apples for a rating!