Matthew Hudson

I'm hoping to win a Personalised Christmas Stocking in @christmas_clock's weekly #competition. #YXMASCOMP5 TERMS: bit.ly/HfB16W

The coolest thing about being a dog must be the ability to use your own ass for a pillow. short.bdsmgalls.net/jeanine

@annieetang @things4whiteppl hahah

go.bdsmgalls.net/steve I bet cannibals were really disappointed by elbow macaroni.

Actors retweeting compliments is the modern day version of actors murdering hookers. go.bdsmgalls.net/joann

@andersonlive My grandmother wants to know how you feel about this, my grandmother takes off her shoes but leaves her socks.

@annieetang hahahaha

go.bdsmgalls.net/leanne Did you know that six days a week T.G.I. Friday's thanks God for nothing?

#andersonlive The first 15!!

@andersonlive hahahahaha how do you have a phobia of birds

@andersonlive Amazing!!

@AndersonLive Amazing

Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to "cheek his paperwork". tinyurl.bdsmgalls.net/reba

If you have more than zero bumper stickers on your car you have too many. tinyurl.bdsmgalls.net/ora

Ran out of Manila envelops. Off to the Philippines. tinyurl.bdsmgalls.net/jill

Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity. googl.adultgalls.com/cecelia

I bet when you go to hell they make you wear your hair like you did in 5th grade shorturl.xaijo.com/francis

Do hipster chicks wear sweatpants that say "DRY" on the butt? shorturl.xaijo.com/kathrine

No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby. bitly.xaijo.com/tracy

A show about a vampire glee club's exploits in 1960's New York. You're welcome, Hollywood. bitly.xaijo.com/kari