🥀✨🪶

*checks leprechaun traps*

if you have to awkwardly robot dance out of the interview you probably didn't get the job

@wildethingy anti. sounds like a nightmarish existence for any sentient animating force

I'm not sure if I should be pro or anti ghost. Any advice appreciated.

By my count we’re up to at least 17 stages of grief

guys we need to set the clocks ahead another hour tonight. something with gravity

cartoons led me to believe there'd be a lot more freshly baked pies cooling on windowsills to plunder

i'm sorry i backed over your sugar daddy

the shitposter's life chose me

joke's on you. i can still post in a straitjacket

Only God and grossly misinformed social media accounts can judge me now.

Nobody boom shakalakas anymore.

Men have the entire world in shambles but still wanna scream women are too emotional to lead

Can’t decide if I’m suicidal or just hungry.

alive but begrudgingly.

my arm's out of the sling 🙌🏽 can't keep a ninja down 🥷

i would sign anything handed to me by a chimpanzee in a suit

@Fadingarcader thank you for your service

@ash_may_bite Ugh! FINE.

in these uncertain fearful times i think you fellas will understand when i ask that the jorts stay in hibernation another month

saw my first unleashed gym karate guy, working on his 'katas', today and i tried soooo hard not to laugh but