A Unique Perv Behind the Drapes🎤🇳🇿

After planning and finalising this months calender, the management team at IRD discuss why @NZMHW1 wasn't being a point of discussion. Punishing toxic feminist and calendar gate keeper Chantelle St Luerant explains that it must have just slipped her mind. #menshealthweek

Reece Flaxmere explains the intricacies of the Super Rugby game to Natelle before they head off to the @Hurricanesrugby this weekend at @hnrystadium Although Natelle is nodding her head in agreement there's only one reason why she's going. #SuperRugbyPacific #thelovemuscle

@theplatform_nz @SeanPlunket Shocked by her incredible ability behind the wheel at high speed in Kapiti, Hollywood have already scripted the new Fast and the Furious movie "Green Machine", featuring Marama fighting a gang of Diesel Ute driving TERFS in an apocalyptic Rio

@KatyKray73 It's the same as the NZ Greens.

Australian Greens co-founder Drew Hutton has quit, declaring the party ‘beyond reform’ and doomed to vanish within a decade. He blames its takeover by extreme gender ideology and identity politics, which have buried environmental priorities under radical activism. The party he helped build is now unrecognisable.

A pissed off Laurie Nichols has asked the big fella upstairs if he could change the channel after Wests Tigers shocking display against Penrith. God replied "Sorry Lozza, Archangel Michael is a big @PenrithPanthers fan and is a pain in the ass when I do that".

Couch league expert and wounder Davon Sullivan watches the @NRL Penrith v Tigers game today and is stunned when Penrith score a try and claims to his wife and daughter that in 2005 he came up with that move, now questioning Ivan Cleary's credentials.

With the @NRL talking of expansion into the South Island, veteran and only member of the Cass Crabs alive, Johnny Hetherington is excited and is currently working on a proposal to the NRL the revive the Crabs, along with wife Jemaima, who honestly thinks he's lost his marbles.

Staunch life long @wairarapabush and @NZRugby supporter Bryan Riversdale, bored out of his frickin mind, and for the first time in his life decided to watch a Gallagher Shield game from Europe. Against every grain in his body he thinks "it's not that bad".

The ever hopeful Mum of 3 boys Tanya Trapeze from Eketahuna looks to the sky in the faint hope the washing might get dry after 3 loads of dirty rugby clothes from yesterdays games and a punishing husband who got pissed last night spilt a bowl of Spag Bol down himself. #nzwinter

@NRL Great NZer 💪

Keano Kini with an UNBELIEVABLE try of the year contender! 👏 #NRL

A stunned audience watches as new kid Ping Sing Xi arrives at the West Coast Jujitsu tournament in Greymouth and completely f**ks over every 9 year old in his grade. Some have questioned his technique which involves slaps and stomach kicks, also why his parents were not present.

The Hon. Erica Stanford, Minister Of Education is in talks with Fang Bung Technologies in China, to bring the stunning new Child Beating robots into the NZ Education system to sort out the bunch of consequence less punishing kids that our country has raised in the last 15 years.

@DailyLoud @TheACCnz Another beautiful cheap shot by a Chinese Robot. With smacking by humans banned in schools and at home, there is a great opportunity to bring these robots to NZ to sort these punishing Kiwi kids and get them into line.

Robot in China slaps boy in crowd

@FIFAWorldCup will decide who wins the match.

Gladstone (Wairarapa) farmer Dougal Driver with dogs Bryan and Wayne wearing football tops, like Paul the Octopus, Dougal will try to pick the winners of the @FIFAWorldCup matches. His thinking is what ever dog he calls "a f**kin mongrel" first while bringing the sheep in

A Chinese robot wearing a clown wig kicked a child in the stomach.

Pissed off Dad Dylan Wallaceville rolls his eyes as although his son is a chip off the ol block, the punishing in laws still say he looks exactly like the Grandad on his wife's side.

Stevo Wayneright from the Sunshine Coast watches the @redsrugby v @ChiefsRugby in the motel bar in Hamilton. Although he spent $5k on the trip, he poked his head out the Motel to a shitty rainy and cold Hamilton night and thought he'd just stay in.

Auckland lawyer Tobias Brokenshire pops into the office on his day off to collect "a thing he forgot", hoping his work mates will think he's been hunting, after coming from a sale he saw online at Papakura Hunting and Fishing where he brought an entire outfit.

A confused @skysportnz commentator Jeff Mctainsh refers back to the Sky Sport Ideology Guide while commentating tonight's @SuperRugby after calling Christchurch and Hamilton three different names a piece during the 80 minutes.