Asmuh

@iamzioraa Because you're calm, that's what warrants their shenanigans. But so far they've confirmed the double transactions, and they're playing you around, you have to play Nigeria; activate emergency madness. Your money will be returned immediately.

I went to a restaurant to eat. After I finished my meal, my bill came up to ₦18,200. I made the first payment, but before the transaction could conclude, their POS machine suddenly went off. They quickly brought another POS, and that one went through successfully. Or so I thought. Later that evening, I received two debit alerts. Both payments had actually gone through. So instead of paying ₦18,200, I had paid ₦36,400. The next day, I went back to complain. They told me the accountant wasn’t on seat but that they would check and get back to me. I said, “No wahala,” and left. One week passed. No call. No refund. I went back again. This time, they checked properly and confirmed that yes, both payments went through. But again, the accountant was “not on seat.” I told them that this accountant’s seat must be extremely hot because the person is never there. They asked me to drop my account details for a refund. I did and left. Fast forward to yesterday. Still no refund. I went back to the restaurant and asked why my money hadn’t been sent. They told me I had “just missed” the accountant and that the refund would be processed shortly. Alright. Since I was already there, I ordered food to eat and also got takeout. After I finished, they asked how I wanted to pay—POS or transfer? I looked at them and said, “Who will I pay when the accountant is not on seat? Who will collect the money?” The lady replied, “The accountant doesn’t need to be here for that. We can all use the POS.” “Okay,” I said calmly. “How much is my total?” “₦18,500.” I smiled. “You people are owing me ₦18,200. If you deduct it from this ₦18,500, that means I’m owing you ₦300.” She shook her head. “We can’t deduct it like that. You have to pay in full, and the accountant will refund you later.” I sighed. “So that means you people will arrest me, abi?” I dramatically placed both my hands on the table and said, “Please, handcuff me.” She tried to explain, “We account for everything we sell. If we don’t reconcile today’s payment, they’ll fine us.” I leaned forward. “Are you people owing me ₦18,200?” “Yes.” “And I’ve just eaten ₦18,500?” “Yes.” “So I’m owing ₦300. Simple maths. Case closed.” I carried my bag and stood up. Suddenly, one guy emerged from one corner like a movie character. “But even if we’re to deduct it,” he said, “you’ll still have to balance ₦300.” I turned slowly. “And you are…?” “I’m the accountant.” I screamed, “Ewooooo!” So the accountant has been on seat all along?

@Maryamah_yusuf Your parents failed in training you.

@OgbeniAdugbo Test-run

Give this woman a name! Ex wife of a Senator. Ex wife of a former governor. Ex wife of Africa's foremost Monarch; Ooni of Ife Ex wife of an Arab Prince. Now the wife of Nigeria's SGF!!!!

@Afcextra_ @FabrizioRomano You need to see your doctor

🚨 Benjamin Šeško: “Your world changes when you move at Man United, this is something I love!”. “Obviously there is pressure, but pressure is something I take as a privilege... It's good, it gives you a push”, told Sky Sports.

@sowore Enjoy the coolness of the facility

DETAINED BY THE @NigerianImmigration, my International passport confiscated. I had just arrived in Nigeria from the USA to the MMIA in Lagos; upon reaching Nigerian Immigration, my passport was seized, and they told me they had orders to detain me. This is not un expected because i have always known that It is part of the broader clampdown by the fascist @officialAbat regime on dissent and their fear of the upcoming #FearlessINOctober revolt. In case this becomes another prolonged and protracted detention, I urge our citizens to ensure they ALL stop tyranny by all means acceptable and necessary, by engaging in the planned series of direct actions slated for October 1st and beyond. #EndBadGovernaceInNigerianow #RevolutionNow

@SunnyolOFFICIAL @renoomokri They must have a limit in their hatred against Northerners, cus they're not push overs

@renoomokri To answer your question directly, our children are not safe. But to me, it is weird. When Buhari was in power, their hatred has limit 'cos they know what an average northerner is up to. But they see Yorubas as cheap bait and 'weak' to direct their insults.

The woman in England was triggered when the white fellow said he was married to a Yoruba lady. The female in Canada wants to poison Yorubas. What have Yorubas done to some people to deserve this level of hatred? Come clean so we can have a dispute-resolution exercise and end this hatred before it degenerates into a Rwandan-scale genocide! Perhaps we need a Peace and Reconciliation Commission? Because the hatred in that Canadian woman's words is eerily similar to Nnamdi Kanu's disdainful loathing when he was calling for Lagos to be burnt down during #EndSARS. She did not just want Yorubas to die. She wants them to suffer before they die. Where is this unholy angst coming from? These are the ones we know of. What other voice notes and voicemails are being surreptitiously circulated on WhatsApp group chats that we do not know of? Are our children on National Youth Service safe from poisoning? #TableShaker

@JamesIbori6 Thieves won't be happy with this verdict. It is an assault on their pockets.

The Supreme Court has dealt a severe setback on the principle of federalism as defined by section 162(3) of the 1999 Constitution (as amended). The section expressly provides thus: "Any amount standing to the credit of the Federation Account shall be distributed among the Federal and State Governments and the Local Government Councils in each State on such terms and in such manner as may be prescribed by the National Assembly". Sections 6 provide further clarity on the subject matter. (6) Each State shall maintain a special account to be called "State Joint Local Government Account" into which shall be paid all allocations to the Local Government Councils of the State from the Federation Account and from the Government of the State. The courts ruling on the matter is an assault on true federalism. The federal government has no right to interfere with the administration of Local Governments in under any guise whatsoever. There are only two tiers of government in a federal system of government. I’m opposed to fiddling with the allocations to the Joint LG Accounts at the state level but that in itself does not call for this death knell to the clear provisions of section 162 of the constitution. The implications of the ruling are far reaching and the issues that readily come to mind are: 1. Constitutional Interpretation: The Supreme Court's ruling appears to contradict the explicit provisions of Section 162 of the 1999 Constitution. This raises questions about judicial interpretation and whether the court has overstepped its bounds in reinterpreting clear constitutional language. 2. Balance of Power: The ruling potentially shifts the balance of power between the federal government and states. By allowing federal intervention in local government finances, it arguably centralizes more power at the federal level, contrary to the principles of federalism. 3. State Autonomy: This decision could be seen as an erosion of state autonomy. States are meant to have significant control over their internal affairs, including the administration of local governments, in a federal system. 4. Financial Independence: The ruling may impact the financial independence of states and local governments. If the federal government can directly intervene in local government finances, it could potentially use this as a tool for political leverage. 5. Precedent Setting: This decision could set a precedent for further federal interventions in areas traditionally reserved for state governance, potentially leading to a more centralized system of government over time. That Local Governments must be “democratically elected “ goes without saying. Yes, I agree, that’s the position of the constitution but withholding their allocation is not the way to go. It’s wrong. In the coming days, we will begin to fully understand the implications of the Supreme Court decision. An assault on the constitution is not the answer to fiddling with the Joint LG Acount. If the ruling is saying Governors cannot temper, touch, fiddle with the Joint Accounts, that’s fine because they shouldn’t be doing that in the first place. But asking the Federal Government to pay Local Governments allocations to the account of the Local Government directly will lead to utter chaos and avoidable friction in governance. Like the Hon. Justice Oputa JSC of blessed memory once said in describing the Supreme Court " we are not final because we are infallible, but we are infallible only because we are final". It is my sincere hope that the judgement delivered today will be reviewed at the earliest time possible because it clearly stands the concept of federalism on its head. James Onanefe Ibori

@fattylincorn_01 Except new moves of dance.

If You Have Any Laudable Development This Man Has Brought to Osun State Please Kindly Drop It Under This Tweet. No Name Calling Abeg. It's All For The Progress of Osun.Even, If the Project is On The Pipeline Let us Know.

@abati1990 Imagine what 3.8m can do in a month, in Nigeria. Nigeria is the best place to be. My opinion.

VIDEO: Nigerian Nurse in the UK Earning N5.3 million Monthly Cries Out Over Insufficient Salary reubenabati.com.ng/feature/nigeri…

@Imranmuhdz @woye1 E-feeding Minister. Oloshiburuku

Citing health challenges, the former Minister of Humanitarian Affairs, Sadiya Umar-Farouq has officially written to the EFCC seeking an extension of the deadline to meet with EFCC, interrogators over an ongoing probe into the N37,170,855,753.44 allegedly laundered during her tenure in office, through a contractor, James Okwete. the spokesperson for the EFCC, Dele Oyewale said Umar had sent a legal representative to the commission and has written to the commission seeking to be given more time to honour the invitation while citing health challenges. Oyewale said, “The former Humanitarian Minister didn’t appear before the commission yesterday, but she sent in a letter pleading for more time and also explaining that she has some health challenges and that was why she couldn’t honour the invitation. She also sent in her lawyer to meet with interrogators. “However, the commission has mandated her to submit herself to the commission without further delay. We are still tracing all the transactions, hence we cannot put a figure to everything now as the investigation is still ongoing.”

@Imranmuhdz @woye1 E-feeding Minister

EFCC rejects three weeks’ extension request by Sadiya Umar-Farouq, the Commission yesterday asked her to appear before its team within three days for interrogation or risk being declared wanted. A source said: “In her letter, she asked the EFCC to give her three weeks to attend to her health before honouring the commission’s investigation. The letter was delivered by her counsel on Wednesday. “But the EFCC said it cannot delay the investigation for three weeks. It has given the ex-minister three days to appear or risk being declared wanted. “Olukoyede has put a new system in place such that you can appear before EFCC detectives and sleep in your home the same day. There is no need to panic at all. “We are expecting her; our team is on standby. Even if she requires medical help, we will avail her of our first-class facility.”

@kc_journalist @woye1 I'm confident that this strike won't hold out since the announcement, because I know JAGABAN won't allow it. God Bless.

@ShehuSani The resemblance; the afro. Madam deceived; deposited at the orphanage.

The little Baby Boy,Jordan who was thrown and abandoned in a Refuse dump by his unknown parents is now 6 months old.Today I visited the Orphanage.

@SSMURI @A_Chigero asmuhonline71@gmail.com

@A_Chigero If you are married, send dm ur email

I have this book(soft copy) for all the newly Married couples. If you are interested, send dm. Note: Only if you have a spouse

@MyFCMB I made a transaction since 4th of May, 2023, but up to this moment the money haven't been reversed. My account would be closed immediately after the resumption on Tuesday.

@ShehuSani Tell us how much you bought your transistor radio

If you know the initial cost of the construction of the HQ of Nigerian Customs and the new cost after review,you will just faint.

PRESS RELEASE The Commission’s Lagos Office Debunks Alleged Exclusion of Nigerians From Certain Regions as Ad-Hoc Staff For Governorship/State Houses of Assembly Elections

@iPrinceAbdull What you did is the right thing.

IS BETTER I CLEAR THE AIR, REGARDING GUSTO. A THREAD

@ShehuSani Transistor Senator, tell us. Ode

Kaduna Abuja road was terrible yesternight.I hope the authorities will officially and truthfully report what happened.

Go and Verify