Ashlyn Mader 👑

Just dropped my new single It’s me, I’m single

Brutal as in- I’m wearing your shirt, texting your dad, looking at old mems. Holidays are hard, I wish you were here.

Oh Erik, I brutally miss you.

“I have therapy” but I’ll come over after!

*4yo drops cheese stick on floor and throws it away* Dad: “why’d you throw that away, you lick the floor?” 4yo: “I don’t lick the floor anymore, I’m trying to be a grownup!”

At mission bay beach club grabbing a coffee Lady: “can I have cream and sweet n low?” Worker: “sure, but we don’t have regular cream because we’re plant based” #sandiegolivin lmao

You know who I think really inspired me to constantly get rid of everything I possess and what I used to know just to completely start over? Nancy Botwin 😊

Results are in, I moved to California 😎

The lord is testing me, let’s say I’ve been offered both opportunities… what should I do?

*Messaging my former manager* 🥰🥰🥰🥰

A guy at the DMV told me I didn’t sound like I had a Minnesota accent until I said “I suppose” 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Wade_davidson10 Lmaoooooo ☠️

@asslynmader Stella’s soon ? 😂🤣😂

Do you get a new EpiPen in your stocking every year or is it just me?

I’ve made the decision that 2022 is the year I’m going to start lying about my age

weird, spotify wrapped told me my aura was flirty and attention-seeking??

Someone please tell me why AJR’s “The Good Part” makes me cry every time I hear it??? 🤔

my little sister is always like “you’re crazy” and it’s like … yeah. i had a way harder childhood than you! mom tried to send me to rehab for smoking weed one time!!!!!

Online dating is going SUPER well for me.

@ogrods Wtf is wrong with me, I screen shotted pens from this thread 😂

*me, sitting uncomfortably on a couch* brain: “oh I’ll just stretch my legs out and put my feet on the coffee table” *panic* Brain: “Ashlyn! That’s rude! Where are your manners?!” I’m at home, it’s my own fucking coffee table.

Thinking about how much I love football and how Wolf of Wall Street is one of the greatest movies of all time (I have triple D’s and a huge ass btw)