abbie

"Shut the fuck up Chuck Woolery" is my everything, forever. twitter.com/talibkweli/sta…

@ChicagoCAPS12 @SPOTNEWSonIG v cool placemats

Weapon recovered by bt 1265d at the 2100 Block of West gladys. Good work Officers @ChicagoCAPS12

This project plus make payday loans illegal and I'll totally work there for a living wage.

Another wooden ball!!! Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?? I have like 12 already

Fuck Dr. Deborah Birx. Stop interviewing her.

@broox Efffff, I'm so sorry Broox.

RIP Garth Brooks. derek.broox.com/rip-garth-broo…

@ejacqui I predict the results will be inconclusive and there will be an egregious misspelling of your name.

@imjasondiamond Thank you for using 'hone' and not 'home'.

Hey parents, if your schools and daycares are still closed you can take partial paid leave during Covid to care for your kids: dol.gov/agencies/whd/p…

The temp agency sent me.

we learned about 2 weeks ago that my 87 y/o grandmother's sitter in her nursing home tested positive for C19. the sitter wore a mask and shield the entire time they were together. my grandmother has just tested negative for C19. WEAR A FUCKING MASK.

@imjasondiamond And don't forget they're talking to each other, too.

The whole country could be tested by tomorrow if they let the Portillos drive-thru crew handle it.

@tolar fantastic theme song

@tolar As he often does, Tolar.

@imjasondiamond Oh, man. This was peak Metro/Smartbar/record store time for me. Electroclash was kind of happening in the background but I know I paid attention cuz it's still some of the only stuff I vividly remember from those times. But such good-awful times and a blur they were.

third grade

Hey, pickpocketer. You already have literally all of my holiday shopping money. At least mail me the wallet. It was a very special gift and means a lot. Please.

@ejacqui This is all I've ever wanted.

@victoriap8er Please update your LinkedIn profile too reflect your new title. (Congrats!) Thank you in advance for your prompt action to the completion of this request. xo

Winter wardrobe?

@CLINT Same. Looking forward to disrupting the homemaker industry along with you, @CLINT.