Audrey Lively

@thecavemommy My first was a breeze to train. I literally told her "no more pull ups" and that was it😂 never had an accident. My 4yo is still in diapers at night and has accidents here and there, my 2yo is already staying dry at night and completely trained during the day. Different for all!

Mine showed early signs of it so we took advantage of it, he kind of just pooped in the potty one day about a year ago and i don’t even remember how it happened 😂 He just did. But some don’t. He didn’t let us know till a few months ago when he had to pee, we had to tell him every hour to go potty, been through a lot of underwear the last year but it’s fine.. Then he got it eventually!

Son is almost three and I haven’t bothered potty training him overnight. Had a mom acquaintance once tell me she woke her daughter up multiple times during the night so she wouldn’t wet the bed to go potty. She was only 3?? That sounds pretty miserable. Maybe I’m selfish and lazy that’s fine but I don’t think my son will have trauma for being in a pull up overnight till he’s 5 or 6. He’s potty trained during the day, has been for a while, why make all of our lives more difficult

@madtwatterphd @thecavemommy He's also autistic. But yeah, having 3 out of 5 kids potty trained (the youngest two are infant twins) is SUPER lazy of me. Thanks Madison!

@audrey_lively @thecavemommy Bro wtf. Lose the diaper, let him piss the bed a couple times and he’ll figure it out for himself. It’s not hard, you’re just too lazy to want to change the sheets a couple times.

@madtwatterphd @thecavemommy That was the tactic at first. I was washing his sheets every morning, until our pediatrician told me that it's biologically normal for kids (especially boys) to take longer to night train. He's a deep sleeper and lacks the physical or mental capability to wake up and go potty.

@KiedaAzure @emmaafinke @theladykatie Did you know those are all crimes that a man could be prosecuted for? Did you know that you shouldn't be having sex with a man you don't fully trust? Did you know that sex=potential baby no matter what form of protection used? Abstain if you don't want a baby.

@emmaafinke @theladykatie You know what SA is? Do you know what a broken condom is? Do you know what Stealth removing protection is? Do you know what lying is? Clearly not.

I regularly have young women on campuses tell me that they would commit suicide if they were to get pregnant, because of their mental health. I ask them if they are sterilized, then. No. I ask them if they refrain from having sex, then. Also, no. So they regularly engage in an activity that they know can put them in a suicidal state, with the default plan being to have an abortion to get out of it, and yet MY beliefs about how to safeguard their health and that of their child, is “oppressing them”.

@ashleyschendel Be honest - are you retarded or are you starving for engagement?

I know people are split on this, but I’m not. My husband and my dad would’ve never walked into a women’s restroom. Ever. When our daughter was little and I wasn’t with them, my husband took her into the men’s room. Did he love it? No. Are men’s bathrooms usually gross? Yes. But public bathrooms are gross in general. Nobody is sitting down comfortably in either one like they’re at home. I wish every place had a family restroom. That would solve a lot of this. But they don’t, and you still have to make the best decision in the moment. For me, that decision is not a grown man going into the women’s restroom. If the concern is cleanliness, then are we saying dads should start bringing little boys into the women’s restroom too? Because little boys are also children. They also deserve clean bathrooms. That argument falls apart pretty fast. Use the men’s stall. Stand guard. Bring wipes. Bring sanitizer. Put toilet paper down. If you’re worried about stall gaps, keep a towel or blanket in the car. It may not be ideal, but parenting is full of “not ideal.” Men do not belong in women’s restrooms. And I don’t think that should be controversial.

Weirdest part about spending your entire day with your kid is when other people get around them for a small window of time and try to tell you about them 😂

Right, "just wait" only projects negativity. Like, I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but don't project your struggles onto others. It's not encouraging. It's not supportive. It doesn't make moms feel any better about what they're already going through. It's. Not. Helpful. I have empathy for mothers, especially ones who are going through additional hardships, like health/mental health, lack of a village, etc. Because I've been there. I live it. Maybe we can start offering encouraging words. Sharing tips and tricks on what helps us get through the day/phases children go through. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, but the last thing we need are people telling us that there's worse things to look forward too. That itself is invalidating and discouraging.

The just wait isn’t aimed at tearing you down per se. I don’t agree with people saying that either. But it comes from a place of pain and struggle. You have a great outlook and it’s good to stay positive despite the challenges. Not a lot of people are that resilient. I think in the face of those comments empathy is better than what comes off as bragging and smugness.

I'm a SAHM of 5 kids, all really close in age. We live in the country, very far from any friends and family, my husband works long hours over an hour away from home - so I'm by myself. I had severe HG in all my pregnancies - needed to be hospitalized for weeks/months at a time. My first I had PP eclampsia (seizures), and then PPD/PPA. My second post partum I developed even worse PPD/PPA and required medication. My last pregnancy was twins, and I developed severe preeclampsia overnight and it was shutting down my kidneys and I had to go in for an emergency c-section. One of the twins needed NICU time and balancing that and my life at home was something I don't wish on anyone. Post partum, I started having severe cardiac issues and now I'm working with a cardiologist. All of this to say, I still focus on the positive and really enjoy being a mother. It's not easy. I have my struggles. I'm doing it all alone 90% of the time. I'm tired. I haven't pooped without an audience in 6 years. I haven't slept through the night since my first was born. I could go on.... But the good times by far outweigh the bad. My babies are my whole world and I love nothing more than seeing their sleepy faces and crazy bed head first thing in the morning. Seeing my chubby twins giant gummy smiles. Having my older kids walk up to me saying "here Momma, I picked this flower for you". Hearing them belly laugh with each other when they're playing in the other room. Getting random hugs, kisses and "I love you's" throughout the day. Motherhood is hard - I'm not denying that fact. But the "just wait" crowd doesn't help or offer any substance, it's *only* projecting negativity onto mothers/motherhood.

I don't feel "nothing but positivity". That's the entire point of my post. Motherhood is fucking hard. Not shaming moms that are having a hard time, but calling out the people that say "just wait", acting like only bad/ harder things are to come, instead of encouraging or supporting mom's. Rarely is "just wait" used in a positive context.

Listen, I’m happy for you that you’ve been able to have those experiences and feel nothing but positivity. Stop shaming moms that struggle and can’t smile the entire time through it during a particularly hard season. We love our kids just as much as you do and feel it’s worth it as well. But constantly touting that you could struggle and remain positive and lord that over the heads of moms that can’t is just gross.

@Mama__LB @homemakinghunny Mommy of 5 and I fully agree!🩷 especially if they're close in age.

@homemakinghunny I have 7. The transition from 1-2 kids was my HARDEST season. You’re not crazy and i promise it gets better.

I don’t know how moms of many children do it. I have two and I adore being their mom but I am so burnt out. Not like “oh I’m just sleepy” - I’m like my nervous system is frazzled, haven’t slept through the night in four years, I don’t even think I know how to relax anymore burnt out. Just laying on the couch with silent tears in my eyes because it all feels out of my control. Lord, help me. I feel like I’m failing so often.

@Rothmus *cackles in trauma*

@Melon1099256 @CynicalLatina @TheOtherK1d I refuse to believe anyone is actually this retarded. It's gotta be on purpose, right?

@CynicalLatina @TheOtherK1d Have you met them? What's your emotional connection to the ingredients in her giblets? Do you do a little ceremony in your house every time someone gets an abortion or miscarries in your family? Do you cry on your period for every egg that isn't fertilized for the "bloodline"?

Just got off the phone with my dad. He called me to let me know that my 18 year old niece had an abortion yesterday. She requested the abortionist to take footprints of her dead baby so she could get a tattoo. What kind of backwards dumbass rational is that? Like to remember her dead baby, or the fact that she killed it?🤦🏻‍♀️That girl is lucky I live so damn far away. Help me pray for the soul of my great niece or nephew that I will never get to meet. I am heartbroken.

@atoiansk @Lin12Am @turnedwife Your *body* is "naturally capable" of carrying a baby. To be a good wife and mother absolutely takes skill, dedication, hard work, patience, etc. But from what I've read on this thread, there's no convincing your backwards, bitter heart.

@Lin12Am @turnedwife Coping with the fact that this is settling. Is settling for what your body is naturally able to do.

As a young girl I remember always being told, “You can be whatever you want to be!!” From an astronaut to a doctor, a lawyer, a vet, you could do it all. But there was always this pesky little condition: your dreams had to be big. They had to sound impressive. Nobody ever said they wanted to be a mom, or a housekeeper, or a trash truck driver, or a waitress, or a dad, or a gardener, or a secretary, or anything common, normal, and ordinary. You could be anything you wanted, so long as it was something grand. You couldn’t dream of a simple life, of marriage, a home, and a handful of kids, because that was a “waste” of potential. That was “settling.” So now we have an entire generation of people who think marriage, children and normal lives are failures, when in reality these are the single most important things most of us will ever have, or ever do. These are the pillars of society, and yet they are the one dream we are told we shouldn’t have.

I wouldn’t have it any other way 🤍

@gracecamille_ He had to weigh his options

remember when that woman caught her husband cheating when she was away on a trip bc she got a notification that someonen weighing 130 lbs was on their smart scale at like 3 AM lmfaooooo

Stop treating your wife like she’s a man. Her brain, body and nervous system aren’t built like yours. If you treat her like a smaller, weaker man, you’ll slowly crush the woman you love. 3 reminders every husband needs👇 1️⃣ HER BODY & NERVOUS SYSTEM ARE DIFFERENT Your wife is not “dramatic” because she’s tired, touched-out or overwhelmed. – She generally needs more sleep than you – Chronic stress hits her hormones harder – Noise, mess, conflict and constant demands spike her anxiety When you shrug that off and say “I’m tired too,” she doesn’t feel understood. When you guard her sleep, take over with the kids, and make home calmer and more predictable… her body finally feels safe. Safety first. Desire, playfulness, affection come after. 2️⃣ HER MIND CARRIES INVISIBLE WEIGHT Most wives aren’t drowning in chores. They’re drowning in responsibility. – Appointments, meals, gifts, school stuff – Who needs new shoes, who’s falling behind – Everyone’s emotions, including yours If your default is “Just tell me what to do,” she still has to manage everything in her head. Honouring her looks like: – Owning whole areas (bedtime, mornings, admin) – Not waiting to be asked – Not getting defensive when she’s fried When she feels you see the mental load and shoulder it without being asked 5 times, her nervous system finally gets to stand down. 3️⃣ HER HEART NEEDS PURSUIT & REASSURANCE Men often think: “I provide, I don’t cheat, what’s the problem?” But she also needs: – Warm, present listening (not cross-examining) – Affection that isn’t always a prelude to sex – To see from your commitment that you choose her, especially on the hard days She doesn’t want perfection. She wants to feel like your cherished wife, not your employee, roommate or therapist. When you: – Apologise first more often – Plan time together – Speak to her with tenderness and respect ...you become easier to trust, easier to relax around, and easier to desire. Men: this isn’t about becoming “less masculine.” It’s about becoming more accurately masculine for a woman, not for a man.

@LMPD Going through the page

Things I wish I knew before my first postpartum: - You need MORE calories than pregnancy, not less. Way more than you think or want to believe. Don't fight it. - Hair loss at 3-4 months isn't just "normal". It's a sign that your body is depleted. Support it. - Rage and anxiety are often low progesterone and depleted minerals. There is nothing wrong with your character. - Your body will hold onto weight while breastfeeding as a survival mechanism. It's protecting your milk supply. Trust your body is doing the right thing for now. - It can take 2-3 YEARS to fully replenish your nutrient stores. - It's okay if you feel like you got nothing done in a day. Breastfeeding is a full-time job. Everything else is extra. - Overdose on warming foods. Broths. Warm milk. Teas. Congee. Soups. Your body needs warmth to heal. - There's no set timeline for when you can exercise again. Some women feel ready in a couple weeks, others need months. Listen to YOUR body, not a generic "6 week clearance." - It's okay to not want guests over. Your baby consumes you and you're allowed to protect that bubble. You don't have to cater to anyone but your baby. - Postpartum is a beautiful time to reset and rebuild. You're starting from a clean slate. Use it.

I think we often forget just how badass motherhood is🩷