audrazepam

Photo dump thread with my blue ass eyebrows bc I’m hot

My husband is so used to me slugging my face every night that he gets uncomfortable when I go to bed and my face is not slippery as fuck

My hair is officially “awkward claw clip bun” length

People who wear glasses why y’all just don’t get lasik? Besides the price of course. If u just ain’t got the bread then I feel u don’t answer

@countcockulaaa This but my body dysmorphia is pretty localized to my face. I have no idea what I look like most of the time and I also heavily focus on flaws no one else would notice. I have to remind myself that I look like Audrey and this is exactly what Audrey looks like. ❤️

insults about my weight/appearance will never hit the way y’all want them to bc I spent the better part of 30y saying the most vile shit possible to myself about how my body looks and finally decided that I simply do not give a flying fuck

Forgot to mention earlier I did 30 minutes of speed walking uphill on the treadmill this morning but then I puked immediately afterwards

Okay so this hair dryer was literally like $15 I don’t see the appeal in buying $100+ ones but I want an expensive one to compare lmao

@Deyjwon Im not even surprised anymore

Apparently this is pretty much exactly how they fold socks in the military but I made one extra step by putting them inside of each other lmao. I thought I made it up 😭

@rachelmillman As someone with a stimulant dependency this seems pretty cost effective

underrated part of the Panera death lemonade is that they had like a drinks membership they heavily advertised where a monthly fee got you unlimited lemonade

—SECRETSOFALCHEMYCALCULATEEVERYTHINGREINCARNATECROWLEY-f̶̬̉u̶̧͗c̴̢͒ḵ̴̈ ̴̢͐ţ̵͘ḥ̴́e̵̟͊ ̴̯̚f̴̦̕ȁ̸̯m̷͍̌e̷̞̚,̷̠̌ ̷̲̕f̴͍͝u̸͌͜c̴̼̓k̸̙̂ ̸̭̀t̵̪̊h̶̀ͅë̸͚́ ̸̹̑d̸̻̓r̴͕̿u̴̡͐g̷̲̽ś̷̹,̷͇͝ ̴͉̂I̸̤̎’̷̧̓m̵̖̄ ̷̝͆ó̸͉n̶̤̓ ̷͎͗c̷̢͗l̶̺̽o̶̞̎u̶̝͌d̴̫̊ ̸̞͋n̶̓ͅi̵̟̊n̸̺͂ę̴̈́ —” “Get out of my house”

Someone: “do you have any special talents?” Me: “THROWANOTHERONEUPINTHEGRAVEIDONTNEEDANAKPUTADOUBLESIDEDBLADEINTHEMAINVEINWATCHINGYOULEAKLIKEABROKENPIPEIMTHESOFTSPOKENTYPEBUTWHENIHANDLETHEARCHETYPEICANNOTSPEAKONLYDIGDEEPINTOABYSMALDEPRESSIONTOFINDWHATICANNOTUNSEEIMAFIENDFORTHE—

3 Stacks bodied this song so hard they gave him 2 long ass verses to bookend it 🔥

@anderson_cooter Omg I love him?????

Stop infantilizing me and trying to undermine everything I’m fucking DOING

Me: “god I’m so glad I’m moving away from here I can’t stand this, and no one has even told me they’re going to miss me. I’m not going to miss you either then.” Mom: “well you always act like you hate us 🥺” Fucks sake I wonder why

My mom: *taking the shoes out of the dryer that I was drying because I have to leave this morning and putting her stuff in there” Me: “can you not do that they obviously weren’t done and I am on a time constraint this morning” Mom: *obviously dissatisfied grumbling*

Omg good for her I love this 🥹❤️ when I lose weight and some comes off of my breasts I feel so much more confident to wear what I want without it being absurdly obscene

@countcockulaaa I want one or two of those so bad lmao

how is she not shitting herself