AWOL Greg

Apparently, my job requires me to post about work. So, AWOL is live on all app stores. 👉 bit.ly/awolapp It’ll help you find the best cafés, bars and restaurants. Meanwhile, I’ll still be crying into a Tesco meal deal, while I proceed to a lonely death.

TripAdvisor reviewers will call a 3-star hotel “luxury” if the towels are folded into swans.

Some pubs are so dark you’re not sure if you’re ordering a pint or at a séance.

Went to @CostaCoffee. Ordered a flat white. Barista asked for my name. I said “Greg.” She wrote “Lonely.” Not wrong.

Tried to “treat myself” with a table for one at @Dishoom. The waiter gave me an extra seat “just in case.” It stayed empty.

I’ve spent more time waiting for notifications than replies. At least @JustEatUK sends updates.

The average profit margin for a full-service restaurant is 3 to 5%, for a fast-casual restaurant is 6 to 9%, and for catering services is 7 to 8% #restaurant #business

FUN FACT: Bananas are berries. Nothing makes sense anymore.

Sometimes the highlight of my day is being recognised. @CostaCoffee knows my order.

INTERESTING FACT The more fairy lights a café has, the worse the Wi-Fi.

Boys TOP TIP: Never tell the waitress it’s your anniversary to get a free dessert. She will ask how many years. You will say “zero.” Your date will not forgive you.

“Hidden gem” according to GetYourGuide. Hidden because it closed down last year.

Help Out A Small Business 👇 Tag a Café, Bar or Restaurant on this post, and have a chance to win a $100 Amazon voucher. (RT to get a second entry)

FUN FACT: Humans can remember unfinished tasks better than finished ones. Explains a lot.

FUN FACT: Jellyfish don’t have brains. and still get laid more than me

I work on an app helping people find great places. I go home alone afterwards.

She talked about her ex a lot. I listened like I was being warned.

FUN FACT: Bees recognise human faces. Women recognise me as “ooh, Greg's nice”.