NIST Reference Werewolf Boyfriend

Every full moon Hello Flesh brings your favorite werewolf his favorite, easy to prepare meat recipes! You’ll receive a box full of meat and recipe cards. This month try ‘Shredded Pork’, where you take a pig and shred it! Use the code GRRRRRRRR to save 30% off your first 3 boxes!

Look, you can SEE the liberation! 😂

Alaska Air announcement 2: “We’re late. Get the fuck on the plane as quick as possible. Because we’re late I’m gonna make you repack your shit if you brought too much shit. That will definitely not slow us down at all. Fuck you.”

Alaska Air customer service in Florida is like ‘Here’s an announcement: fuck you, get on the plane. Don’t ask me for shit.’

@RamulusBaphomet I’d rather eat the strawbs myself. Mmmmm strawbs..

Look, it's easy: -You see bah. -Bah bleats at you. -You give bah strawbs -No one gets bonked. It's literally win win for everyone.

@TokyoDilf You may be deciding between insulin and groceries while the CEOs decide between Paris or Barcelona, but at least that one trans girl in your state can’t play badminton anymore 👍

When you realize @GreystarApts charges you $15 a month for using the water heater that’s in your apartment that you already pay for the electric for.. fucking hell the nickle and diming never stops with these guys.

‘Sorry we missed you’ of course you bloody missed me @UPS your driver stood on the porch literally two seconds!

Fifty dollars for a whisky and coke, @stgpresents? This drink better get me fucking blasted.

A confusing first for the new year - someone porch pirated our @getridwell bags.

@RamulusBaphomet We can be cellies!

Bah currently in jail for felony embezzlement of over $2.5 mil in the 'take a penny leave a penny' gas station trays.

Malort: I had worse in prison.™️

I’m gonna add this emoji to my mute list because whenever I see it it’s always followed by some dumbass shit.

@RamulusBaphomet I read the thread.. god damn Christians can be insufferable.

This rack is quite glorious yes. Praise bah or burn.

The security at @showboxpresents tonight was kind of ridiculous. I haven’t even had to take my belt off at the airport in a decade, and I’ve never had anyone ask me to take my collar off. WTF

And we wonder why people are pissed about healthcare.. thanks CVS.

Yeah, lead poisoning.

@FoxCouncil Lead poisoning.

The @UPS trucks having a loud, piercing beeper connected to their hazard lights makes them the most obnoxious vehicle to park in our apartment complex. 15-20 minutes of.. "BEEP..BEEP..BEEP..BEEP..BEEP..BEEP..BEEP"

Admittedly proud of this from a rant to @keybank - “Chances are good that once I’ve unraveled this mess I’ll go back to US Bank. They don’t treat me like a valued customer but at least they don’t treat me like a convict.”

@RamulusBaphomet The whole narcotic situation is maddening. For my broken arm during the two fucking weeks I waited for surgery they were like ‘we can prescribe you ibuprofen 800s’ and it’s like bitch, I can just take 4 Advil, give me a fucking break.

Downside to having a high pain tolerance is medical practitioners tend to down play your pain when you finally do speak up about it given their prior experience with others abusing it just to get narcotics. And it gets to the point where you contemplate life altering decisions.